We can all argue about what constitutes the single most important duty of a Best Man—from not fumbling for the ring during the ceremony to delivering a reception toast worthy of its own Netflix stand-up special. But, finding strippers for the bachelor party is definitely part of that argument. Though not necessarily the consensus winner of said debate (heated as it might be), it is a task that requires more thought and preparation than you might think.
It’s not like you can Amazon Prime this experience, although we’re sure Bezos is working on that too (probably still trying to figure out how to glitter-proof the delivery drones). So, with the help of an expert in the pole dancing arts, let’s take a look at how to bid farewell to the single life without breaking the bank or doing something really stupid.
Beware The “Bachelor Party Package”
Strip clubs are a magnet for bachelor parties. But keep in mind—most “bachelor party packages” don’t include any time with the ladies. You’re usually just paying for a space to hang out in with your buddies, which isn’t much different from the typical group deal. These packages usually include a table, chairs, and over-inflated bottle service. Some clubs will charge extra for DJ shout-outs and some comical bit in which the bachelor himself is brought on stage. That’s not a value proposition.
“You’re still subject to the whole hussle routine of trying to flag down girls to your table and figuring out if you want to spend money on them,” says Daizha Morgann, a Las Vegas-based performer who used to work in the clubs. She now operates her own bachelor party for-hire business, stars in adult films and has cultivated more than a million followers on Instagram. Eyes back here now, please.
According to Morgann, the package price at a strip club is just the tip of the iceberg. Every dance for you and your buds costs extra, especially private dances in a separate room.
“What happens a lot is the guys get really intoxicated and the girls take advantage of the situation. They lead the guys over to the ATM machine with their credit cards and drain their accounts.” The ATM fees alone will make you feel like a sucker, so set a budget and cash out before you even set foot inside the club.
Most people don’t realize strip club performers begin their shift in the red. They’re charged a house-fee just for walking in the door, so the pressure is on to not only recover that amount, but make a worthwhile profit for the evening. Try to keep in mind that this is a job for them, the club is their office and they need to work.
“They’re going to be happy and hang out with you as long as you’re spending money,” Morgann says, who remembers paying a $90 house fee when she worked at Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club. “But the moment you’re tapped out, that’s when the attitude changes and they’re leaving for the next guy who’s going to spend money on them.”
Book Strippers Outside of The Club
Going third-party is often a better way to maximize both time and money and hopefully the fun. That means avoiding the strip club altogether and booking an independent performer (or performers) in a more intimate and comfortable environment—usually a private home or hotel suite. The rates and time are negotiated in advance, so you don’t have the sticker shock and other surprises typically found at a strip club. The focus is on you and your squad.
“In a (private) bachelor party environment, we’re already being paid to be there.” Morgann says. “So our main focus is putting on a good show and making sure guys have the time of their lives. We’re not focused on making these quick extra dollars.”
Although with some companies, you’re only paying for the girls to show up with additional charges negotiated as the party progresses—like games, for example. Other services, well, that’s not for us to say. Either way, there’s usually an established time frame that’s set in stone.
“It’s a better flow. It’s more natural. It’s more fun that way,” Morgann says. “In strip clubs, guys aren’t as relaxed or loose. Any day of the week, I’d rather do a bachelor party through my own company than at a strip club.”
Follow The Rules, Don’t Test The Boundaries
It’s okay to be loud. It’s okay to be drunk. Just don’t be a dick. This is advice you should already know by now but we’re more than happy to give you a friendly reminder. Don’t indulge in inappropriate groping. If you’re not sure what “inappropriate” means, just ask. Always ask. Depending on the club and the state, there are established rules and it’s always a good idea to have them spelled out to the group.
“Every strip club is different. Every bachelor party company is different. Every girl is different,” Morgann says. “Everybody has a different comfort level. There’s nothing that kills the vibe more than having a girl yell at you and slap you across the face because you crossed the line.”
Another big no-no is taking photos without permission. That’s especially true at strip clubs where bouncers are quick to boot someone who whips out their phone for anything beyond a quick text. Don’t be the guy who ruins the fun for the rest of the group. If you get kicked out, fine, but if you get everyone kicked out you’ve just rained on the parade and ruined the party.
Always Plan Ahead (Always)
Some guys think they can just “wing it” when it comes to bachelor parties. Guess again. Whether you need a table at a strip club or private dancers for the hotel, start planning right away. Check out websites, look at Yelp reviews, and book as soon as possible.
“There’s nothing worse than showing up to Vegas and the girls you want to book are unavailable or the tables are all sold out,” Morgann says. “Especially if you’re the Best Man and your best friend is looking at you like you totally dropped the ball and ruined his entire trip.” Just make sure to clear that browser history every so often.
— Rob Kachelriess