Ah, the honeymoon: the sweet reward for months of wedding planning. No more seating charts, no more flower arrangers, no more worrying about how Frank the Tank is going to behave during the reception. Just a week or two of beach, bed, beach, bed, beach, etc.
Unfortunately, this reward doesn’t just fall into your lap. Like every other aspect of taking the plunge, the honeymoon has to be planned. Some grooms will see this as their opportunity to shine, and will throw themselves into researching private bungalows in Phuket, Thailand with as much passion as their brides are looking at wedding gowns.
Then there are the rest of us, who are only concerned with two things: we don’t want to spend a lot and we don’t want to get stressed out.
Which leads us to honeymoon packages. Why spend months figuring out a whole itinerary when you can just make a reservation at a fancy all-inclusive resort? All you’ll have to do is check in, change into your bathing suit, and start your vacation–beach, shower, bed, beach, shower, bed, etc. Even better, a honeymoon package will probably save you money in the end. Some packages include air travel, and the cost of drinks, food and activities in the overall price.
There are hundreds of online resources to help you research and book honeymoon packages, including sites like TripAdvisor, Kayak and Priceline. If you don’t want to wade through all that, spend a little of your cash on a travel agent. They still exist, and they will be able to narrow down your search and save you time and money.
The following is a sample of the type of packages you can find.
Mexico
Paradisus, Cancun
This saucy resort along Mexico’s Caribbean coast has got it all: beaches, ziggurats, a large circular pool with a mosaic of a hissing snake at the bottom! When you’re not laying on the beach, sipping brightly colored drinks at the bar or going to town on each other in your lagoon-view suite, you’ll be taking scuba-diving lessons, playing golf on the nine-hole course, and getting hot-stoned into submission at the Yhi Spa. When it’s time to go home, your trip to the airport is cool 15 minutes max. Sweet.
Caribbean
Sandals Royal Plantation, Jamaica
Sandals is one of the big players in the Caribbean resort scene, and while some of their offerings are quite pricey, you can still find a good bargain if you dig deep. Like all Sandals resorts, Royal Plantation features “Love Nest Suites” designed especially for couples. Think that name sounds cheesy? You’ll have plenty of time to reconsider while relaxing in your private pool with an ocean view, sipping on the cocktails just delivered by your private butler. That’s right, homeboy, you get your own butler.
Europe
Renaissance Tuscany II Ciocco Resort, Barga
If you’re looking for a grand tour of cities, sites, and romantic ruins, than the Renaissance might not be for you. But if you want to drive up a mountain, and then spent a week just eating Italian food, going to the spa, and admiring the stunning views of the scenic Serchio Valley, this is the place. In the unlikely event you get bored, you can go check out some of the surrounding towns, before stopping in Pisa and taking the obligatory shot of yourself pretending to hold up the Leaning Tower.
Asia
Mia Resort, Nha Trang, Vietnam
If you’re coming from the US or Europe, the airfare to Asia might disqualify it as a “cheap” honeymoon destination. On the other hand, certain countries are crazy affordable once you get there, particularly former war-torn places like Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. At Nha Trang’s Mia Resort, you can rent a room with a private infinity pool facing the ocean, and attentive hotel service insures you never have to leave your suite if you don’t want to.
USA
Boulders Resort and Spa, Arizona
If you’re determined to use your honeymoon to help Make America Great Again, there are plenty of honeymoon package destinations in the good old USA. The Boulders Resort, located outside Scottsdale, amidst the Boulder Piles of the Sonoran Desert, offers private casitas, a spa suite, scrubs, massages and the kind of spiritual vibe that has been bringing people to the region for decades. At night, you can lay on your veranda and chose from a whole sky full of stars to wish upon.
