Honeymoon

Is It OK to Ask For A Threesome On Your Honeymoon?

You’ve just gotten married and you’re off to your honeymoon. You’re excited. You’re thinking about the honeymoon sex you’re going to have. You’re thinking it’s going to be good. Crazy, insane good. Remember-all-your-life good. But if you’re a certain type of person, you might be thinking something else. You might be thinking: “How awesome would it be if we had a threeway on our honeymoon.”

Temptations

Our assumption here is that you are in a traditional, monogamous relationship. There are, of course, more options. Some people enter into an “open marriage.” If that sounds vague, that’s because it is, on purpose. There are many flavors of this type of thing, where the outside relationships are gay or straight, short- or long-term, with emotional engagement or purely physical. For some people, it seems to work. They stay married and even raise kids, while at the same time pursuing outside relationships. Everything is above board, out in the open.

If this is the type of marriage you’re in, then the idea of a little third (or fourth or fifth) addition to your honeymoon sex play might seem reasonable. This is an extremely happy time in your life, and you’d like to share the joy. Look around the vacation resort or tropical island into which you’ve just flown: there are other young couples here, maybe even some singleton’s joining the mix. Certainly there might be some couple that would want to do join you for some good, not-so-clean adult fun. Or maybe a hot young woman on the prowl who’d like to get in on the sexy honeymoon vibes you and your bride are giving off.

Reflections

Look, we don’t judge here at The Plunge. It’s a big world full of problems—and who has sex with whom is not one of them. But, as your friend, we’re going to stop you here. We’re going to say: “Do not try to have a threesome, or an orgy, or a wife-swapping session while on your honeymoon.”

Here’s why. Polymorphous perversity can be a wonderful spice to your relationship. But it’s just that: a spice. The main dish—the matzoh ball soup—of your marriage is the connection between the two of you. The honeymoon is kind of the final stage of simmering, after which you are ready to be served. Spice at this point might spoil the broth.

If you could see a graph of your entire relationship—from the moment you met until the day (hopefully years from now) when you drop dead from a heart attack while she makes you a sandwich in the kitchen—the period of maximum sexual and emotional obsession with each other is now. That’s what your honeymoon represents, that’s why newlyweds leave all their friends and family behind and fly away to be alone.

Even the most open-minded libertine wife might resent bringing a third party into this particular trip.

Repercussions

So when is the best time to suggest a threesome? For the majority of married men, the answer is simple: when you’re ready for a divorce (or at least for having your skull dented by a frying pan, Looneytoons-style). Women don’t get married to have threesomes: they can do that easily enough when they’re single. Woman get married for stability, security and monogamy.

But if you are one of the few husbands whose wives might actually be open to bringing a third (and/or fourth, etc.) set of genitals into your marriage bed, then at least wait until your relationship is completely strong and settled. In other words, wait until that initial newlywed thrill has worn off a bit, and a third person would be a novelty.

Oh, one other thing. When you picture this threesome, it’s you, your wife, and another woman, right? Yeah, about that: your wife may have different ideas. When you finally achieve this magical three-person sex fantasy, you may end up counting another dude’s back hairs, or trying to avoid eye-contact as he rogers your woman a few feet away from your naked flesh. Strap on your seatbelt, lover man: marriage may take you to places you never thought you’d go.  

— Gregor Ehrlich

Join The Plunge (Don’t Worry: It’s Free)

Even More Honeymoon