Now that you’ve proposed, it’s time to relax and let your new fiancé plan the big day. Your work is done, right? Wrong.
You just asked her to be your partner for life, so it’s important that you two are partners when it comes to the next step. You need to support her, understand her needs, and do what you can to make your relationship continue to thrive. Remember all that effort you had to put into pursuing her in the first place? Yeah, you have to keep doing that.
Take a Breather—But There’s Still Work to Do
We know you just spent a ton time preparing for this moment. You diligently chose a ring, planned how to propose, and called family and friends to tell them the big news after she said yes. Your time, not to mention your money, has gone into this engagement already, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to hand the reins over to your bride-to-be. You wanted to make her happy when you proposed, and at this point, you’ve promised that you want to make her happy for the rest of your lives, so don’t stop now. If you go into this process with a positive, or even better, enthusiastic attitude, it’ll make everything a whole lot better for both of you. Not to mention, she’ll love you for it. You don’t get a pass on the planning, so make the best of it.
Communication is Key
She’s going to want to talk about the wedding a lot. Don’t be afraid to give her your opinion if she asks for it, but be prepared for her to disagree. Also, be prepared to disagree with some of her opinions. It’s only natural that there will be times when you don’t see eye to eye. As much as she may be the captain of this ship, she wants you on board, helping her along the way. Your wedding day will be one of the most important days in both of your lives, and you should want to be involved in the decisions so that the eventual day reflects both of your tastes. And let’s face it, you want to be involved, or why else would you be reading this? Though you may not care about the color of the tablecloths, you may find that you really care what signature cocktail is served, in which case you should politely speak up. If you stay in honest communication about what you want and don’t want, the final product will be pretty cool. She’ll notice if you seem uninterested or resistant, and that’s not a conversation you want to go anywhere near, trust us.
Keep the Wedding Planning out of the Bedroom
You remember the game of tag, right? For those of you who haven’t been eight years old recently, here’s a refresher. Basically, someone chases you around the playground until they tag you and you’re out of the game, or you reach base where you become automatically, no questions asked, safe. Sometimes wedding planning can be a bit like tag. It’s hard. It’s stressful. It’s exhausting. It’s expensive. You will fight, and that’s okay. The price of flowers will make you want to head down to City Hall and get the whole thing over with. To avoid a total nightmare, why not create a base at home? A place where you both can be automatically, no questions asked, safe from the pressures of wedding planning. Have the bedroom be a planning-free zone so you can focus on the reason you’re engaged in the first place—you’re pretty much obsessed with each other. It’s important to have a place where you can remind yourselves that you’re capable of talking about something and hold common interests, besides wedding details. Don’t skip your engagement because you’re too focused on being eventually married. If a conversation about the guest list is getting heated, take her by the hand into the safe space, and you’ll be forced to take a break. Genius, right? Before you know it, she might be shoving you in there.
Plan Romantic Date Nights
Again, just because you’ve locked her down, doesn’t mean your work is done. It’s important to keep doing all the things you did to win her over when you were merely dating. Sit down for a meal together, order a bottle of wine, look into each other’s eyes, compliment each other—you get the picture. In the midst of planning for something that’s over a year from now, this will give you both a chance to slow down and live in the moment. Don’t let your present relationship slip away because you’re so focused on the future. This will go a long way and show her how much she means to you, and we’re sure she’ll find out a way to thank you when you get home.