Relationships

Ask the Olds: Intimacy Advice from The Middle Aged

A recent study claims that men 60-years-old and over are the most sexually satisfied. While old sitcom tropes and “jokes” from your grandpa may have conditioned you to believe otherwise, there must be something the young guns could learn from these old-timers. We spoke to several men who fit the study’s age range to find out if they agreed, and if so, what advice would they give to younger guys when it comes to sex and relationships?

The Tourists

James (59) and Tim (60), visiting New York from Ireland for the first time, wholeheartedly agreed with the study. “It’s not just about the sex,” said James. “It’s also about the friendship.” Tom was quick to jump in, advising that relationships at their age should be a shared connection between best friends. “That shared respect for each other makes everything better.”

To younger guys, James said it’s all about learning from your mistakes. “You’re gonna have issues with your own intimacy, issues with your ego. You’re gonna make mistakes because of those, and you have to learn from it.” Tim chimed in, “And fellas, hey- you’re getting married? It’s not the end of the world. You’re sharing your life with someone! That’s what it means to be a man in a marriage- and sex! It’s sharing everything in your life, good or bad, with someone you love.”

The Love Doctor

Married for twenty years and divorced for seven, Henry (60) is a doctor who’s been known to moonlight as an ordained minister. “The sex I’m having now is better than anything I’ve had before.” He says young men are in too much of a hurry to rush into sex, but with age he’s mastered the art of patience.

Research is also a big part of a satisfying sex-life, according to the good doctor. “Would you ever go into a job interview without reading up on the company first?! The internet is amazing, and I’m not talking about porn. If you’re gonna spend a ton of time on something a ton of research has been done on, why not do some reading?”

He even recommended a book, aptly titled She Comes First. “I’ve given it to a couple of friends- though I don’t think any of them read it!”

The Wise Man

Bob, (74) and retired from the world of finance, agreed with the study’s findings, echoing James and Tim on a great relationship being the foundation of great sex.

He also laid out some tough love for the Tinder generation: “When I was younger, and I still believe this, I’d recommend to get into a relationship first, not to just jump into sex. Anytime I’ve had casual sex, I found that afterwards it just wasn’t satisfying.”

He left us with a bit of wisdom that could double as a new slogan for OKCupid: “Getting off is better when it’s about more than getting off.”

 

 

Bottom Line

Listen to Bob: a satisfying sex life is so much more than just great sex. It’s the product of a strong, healthy connection between people who respect one another as they respect themselves.

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