Shop & Registries

5 Lessons We Learned About Registries From Classic Horror Films

If you’re looking for some silver-screen inspiration for your wedding registry, you probably think that rom-coms are the way to go. That’s what we call a rookie move. Let us guide you down another path. It’s a twisted one that leads to an abandoned cabin in the woods, but you might find some enlightenment in the darkness…or a leather-faced lunatic wielding a massive machete. Fear not, you can always play it safe and discover sweet gift ideas here, here, or even here, but for some truly killer inspiration, look no further than these brilliant and bloody horror classics.

Halloween: A Cut Above The Rest

Anyway you slice it, Mike Meyers was a deranged maniac hell-bent on causing maximum carnage. But he did understand the value of a quality knife. No kitchen or registry is complete without one of Mikey’s go-to weapons: a wide-bladed chef’s knife. Of course, you’ll be using yours to prepare romantic meals for your beloved and not to terrorize innocent teenagers, right? Wait…RIGHT?

Nightmare On Elm Street: Face Your Fears

There are many lessons we can learn from the life and afterlife of Frederick Charles Krueger: Don’t let childhood bullying scar you forever; a quality sweater with a simple pattern never goes out of style; and, most obviously, a healthy skincare routine is of paramount importance. Cleansing, exfoliating and moisturizing aren’t just for ladies. Make sure to add skincare products for you and your wife to your registry and you’ll have the complexion of your dreams—good dreams, not the “one, two, Freddy’s coming for you” variety.

The Shining: Chill Out

Honeymoons can be extremely expensive but, these days, you can easily set up a registry to crowd-fund your getaway. If you want to save even more moolah, you should consider traveling off-season. The weather might not always cooperate and your hotel could feel like a ghost town, but a little peace and quiet never hurt anybody. Jack Torrance and his family weren’t honeymooning but they took a chance on an off-season gig and they had an entire resort to themselves…along with two dead twins, Lloyd the phantom bartender, a naked ghost crone, the spirit of a murderer named Grady, a dancehall full of deceased revelers, a boy named Tony who lived in their son’s mouth, and tidal waves of blood flooding the lobby now and again. On the plus side: no line at the hedge maze!

The Exorcist: Holy Sheet

Color still from The Exorcist with Max Von Sydow and Linda Blair

There were plenty of innocent victims in The Exorcist: the priests, the mother and, of course, the possessed little girl. But nothing was rocked harder and put to the test more than that poor bed. It was shaken, levitated, slammed, and adorned with every possible combination of bodily fluids—yet it never gave up the ghost. Who knows what your post-matrimonial bed will be subjected to? Be sure to add a quality mattress and high-end bedding to your registry. No matter how much action and/or evil it sees, you’ll never want to cast it out.

The Ring: Go High-Death

The Ring Girl emerges from the well.If you’re going to watch a video that condemns you to die 7 days later, why not treat yourself and watch it in style? When the American version of The Ring came out in 2002, even high rollers were restricted to boxy, low-definition sets that were deep enough to house a creepy little girl. Nowadays, you can curse yourself and your loved ones with a massive Ultra HD flat screen. All you need is a wedding registry at Best Buy and you’ll have a TV to die for. Literally.

The Blair Witch Project: Camp It Up

Those curious campers in The Blair Witch Project made some pretty bad decisions (like looking for a murderous witch) but they did come equipped with some pretty sweet outdoor gear. If you want to make all your Blair wishes come true, sign up for a registry at REI. Make sure to pick up some legit flashlights that won’t cut out when you need them most and definitely snag a Go-Pro for some truly sick found footage.

Bottom Line

You don’t need to lose your head when setting up your wedding registry. Just kick back, watch some flicks and take a few cues from the Hollywood’s most horrific achievements. We guarantee that you’ll make a killing.

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