Let’s be clear: Marriage is great. Your girlfriend is great. The wedding will be great.
But here’s the thing about wedding planning: it kinda sucks. It’s a lot of work and sometimes a lot of stress. You end up spending more money than you ever have, on things whose value you aren’t always sure of.
Adding to the stress, your girlfriend is wonderful and lovely and sensible and good-humored. But she’s about to become a bride…who is, at times, none of those things. Wedding planning can put women under a lot of pressure. Whatever stress you’re feeling, she’s feeling 10x worse.
At some point over the next months, you will be confused. You will be frustrated. You will feel that no one is on your side.
That’s where we come in.
The stuff that matters… and nothing more
Instead of giving you the Dos and Don’ts of choosing stationery, we’ll tackle the (often controversial) stuff that matters, like what to do if her father’s being a dick, how to dis-invite your co-workers, how to handle cold feet, how to finesse the murky world of ex-girlfriends, how to save cash, and where to draw the line at the bachelor party.
From making up your mind to making it down the aisle
We cover the whole gamut. If you’re in a serious relationship and are thinking about taking The Plunge, you’ll find advice in the Getting Engaged section. If you’ve already proposed, we’ll give a quick primer on how life changes and your basic responsibilities. Finally, we’ll help you filter out the mind-numbing details to concentrate on what really matters and give you a taste of the final week of your single life. Of course, things rarely go as planned, so we’ll help you navigate the sticky situations, too.
Is it fun?
Not unless you let it be. While there will be moments that feel about as enjoyable as being kicked in the solar plexus by Bruce Lee, if you go in with the right attitude, you will end up having a blast.
What we promise
We’ll always give it to you straight. Like you, we remain skeptical. Like you, we’d prefer not to take this whole thing so seriously. Like you, we refuse to slurp the wedding-industrial complex’s Kool Aid.
Maybe your fiancée is reading a stack of wedding planning books, magazines, and blogs—all of which are telling her that this is the Most Important Project Of Her Life. We don’t care how punk-rock and non-conformist she is: read enough of that stuff and you start to get a little crazy. Which may make you ask: “Can’t I just ignore it and check out?”
No. Sorry. She may do most of the heavy lifting, but, for better or worse, you also have a starring role in this sucker. And get over the idea that “real men don’t ask for advice.” A real man asks for whatever he goddamn pleases.
Why you should care
If none of the above moves you, here’s another reason: money. Gobs of money. In this new modern era, you might foot a good chunk of the tab. Her $3,000 table decorations are coming out of your collective hide—whether you realize it or not—even if her folks are writing the checks. (Click here for a breakdown of who pays for what.) If you slap on the blindfold and just hand over your credit card, you not only ignore your investment, you set a precedent of spending the rest of your life as a literal yes-man.
Look, this is not about men vs. women or grooms vs. brides. If you get engaged in this process, you’ll end up a better partner, a better husband and a better man. And you’ll have fun. That’s why you need us.
To start things off…get your basic orientation on the groom’s role in the engagement.