The Kitchen Appliances You Should Have, But Would Never Buy Yourself

When it comes to buying things, we all balance practical vs. aspirational. Practical usually wins, especially when it comes to kitchen appliances. But your wedding registry is the perfect opportunity to get aspirational. Here are some appliances you probably wouldn’t allow yourself to buy, but that you’d love to have in your kitchen.

3D Pancake Printer

So far, the possibilities of the 3D printer have been unrealized. No longer. Now, you can 3D “print” delicious pancakes. Pancakes, we say! My God, man, do you realize the implications?

25490A Dual Breakfast Sandwich Maker

This miraculous device brings the breakfast sandwich out of the coffee shop and into your kitchen. In other words: out of the hands of the elite and into the mouths of the people. That’s right, the 25490A is a force for democracy. Delicious, greasy, egg-filled democracy.

Coffee Bar Thermal Carafe System

If you have specific coffee tastes (and you should), this system will fulfill your requirements. If your tastes aren’t very specific, they soon will be once you start using this Coffee Bar from Ninja.

SMEG 50s Style Slow Juicer Pastel

Don’t be put off by the brand name. We admit that “Smeg” sounds pretty disgusting. But the juice this thing makes is crazy delicious and refreshing. Plus, it looks really cool and retro, which never hurts.

Classic 6

Most plants improve a kitchen–especially ones whose leaves can be used in cooking. But who has time to take care of one? The Classic 6 takes the work out of the equation and lets you reap the benefits while avoiding the hassle.

Pasta Machine

Real men make their own pasta. No, it’s totally true. Once you start using this versatile beast, you’ll wonder how you ever ate store-bought dry pasta before, how you ever could have been such a girly man.

Traditional Ice Cream Maker

Let’s say you exercise on a regular basis. Perhaps you even have chiseled abs of steel. Good for you. But maybe instead of obsessing over your abs, you should get this amazing device, which will tempt you to have incredible ice-cream sundaes for every meal and every in-between meal snack. Healthy? No. But: ice cream.

Professional 6000 HD

This mixer is heavy duty. This mixer gets the job done. This mixer can handle anything–batter, eggs, dough. Hell, you can probably even mix concrete in this thing.

Intelligent Oven

If you and your wife are the type who want delicious home cooked meals, but don’t want to cook them yourself, then you want this intelligent oven. Don’t worry, it’s not more intelligent than you (we think), and it will know what to cook whatever you put in it.

Outdoor Pizza Oven

Some men buy a yacht to show they’ve made it. Not you. You’re going to show you’ve made it by creating flawless pizzas on your deck or in your backyard. Because nothing says “I’ve arrived” more clearly than an outdoor pizza oven. (Except a yacht. Or a private jet. Or a Porsche.)

Eight Coffee Maker

The thrill of making your morning coffee in this beautifully designed object may be enough to wake you up on its own. But if it’s not, the end product will deliciously get the job done.

Stelvio Raclette Party Grill with Granite Stone

If you’re looking to bring the kitchen outside of the kitchen, this party grill lets everyone cook their own meal simultaneously, meaning less work for you and more fun for them.

Outdoor Fondue Pot

If dipping various foods into various hot cheeses doesn’t get your heart racing, we’re not sure anything will.

Orville Redenbacher Stirring Popper

You might think that the microwave is good enough for popcorn, but “good enough” is for quitters. The truly dedicated popcorn consumer wants theater quality popcorn in the comfort of their own home–and this stirring popper will give it to them.