Groom Duties

Wedding with No Best Man?

Who can be my best man?

“I am having problems finding someone to identify as a Best Man. I have a couple of close friends who I can use as Groomsmen, but I can’t really see anyone as able to fill the role of Best Man.

My former best friend and I don’t talk anymore and I don’t have anyone that can handle the responsibilities. The numbers will be the same, just no one person identified as a Best Man. Is it possible to have a ceremony with just Groomsmen?”

-The Plunge Reader

You have three options:

1) Just choose someone, anyone

Seniority can be a tie-breaker. Take the buddy you’ve been friends with the longest, and use him.  As for your former best friend… you’d be surprised. This could be a way to reignite your friendship. I’ve seen it happen. If you ask him, he’ll be honored, and the hatched could be buried. (Or not.)

See also: Can Your Best Man Do All This?

Alternatively, any of your other friends could work. Don’t worry about someone not “handling the responsibilities.” Frankly, the responsibilities aren’t that big of a deal. He can handle it. Just supervise him more than you normally would: double-check on tuxes, delegate stuff to the other groomsmen, etc.

2) White-lie

Tell your groomsmen that because you like them all so much, you don’t want to insult anyone by anointing just one Best Man. So they’re ALL Best Men!  (The truth, of course, is just the opposite.)  Then split up the responsibilities amongst the team.

3) Use me

I’ll be your stand-in. I’ll even give you a Reader Discount. I’m good. I’ll give a killer speech, I’ll charm your new family, and I’ll plan a bachelor party that you will never forget… but one that respects your fiancée. Only $1,000/day plus expenses–think about it.

Hope this helps — good luck.

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