You might not know it, but your fiancée has just picked up a foreign language.
Over at all the “wedding forums,” the brides use a confusing, jumbled system of abbreviations that would, we suspect, impress the sonar-encryption-scientists from World War II.
Every now and then, it’s possible that she might slip these into her emails or texts with you.
Here’s how to crack their code:
(And if we missed anything? Brides? Help us out in the Comments, below.)
We think it means: Sexually Transmitted Disease
Actually means: Save the Date (cards, invitations, etc.)
We think it means: Bowel Movement
Actually means: Best Man
We think it means: Designated Hitter
Actually means: Dear Husband
We think it means: a fat girl (Why? “Moh” just sounds like a catty insult the plastic Mean Girls would sneer: “Oh. My. God. Heather, do you see that 200-pound Moh? She should not be wearing leather pants.)
Actually means: Maid of Honor
We think it means: Field Goal
Actually means: Flower Girl
We think it means: Fun Hole
Actually means: Future Husband (Um… isn’t there a word for that, like, fiancé?)
We think it means: Pig-Latin for Mother-in-Law I’d Like to Fu#k.
Actually means: Future mother in law
We think it means: Damn Wedding
Actually means: Destination Wedding
We think it means: um… newer, for people too lazy to use vowels?
Actually means: Not Wedding Related. (So, in other words, this is an acronym that bridezilla would rarely use.)
Of course, this is just one small slice of the insane bridal blogs, magazines, and books known as wedding-porn. If you haven’t seen it, don’t miss our How Wedding-Porn is Brainwashing Your Fiancée.