Groom Duties

The Male Perspective on Post-Wedding Breakfasts

My groom hates the idea of a post-wedding breakfast.

“I’m writing in to get the guy perspective on post-wedding breakfasts. My parents want to have one, and my groom hates the idea. He’s constantly asking me why we have to have one and whether it’s a fake tradition from bridal magazines. In his opinion, post-wedding breakfasts are simply stupid, and we should simply say goodbye to all of our guests at the end of the reception and not have to see them again the morning after our wedding night (I’m guessing because he’d like to be asleep or having sex).

I, on the other hand, kinda want to have the wedding breakfast. We live on the other side of the country from our families, and yet most of our extended family will be flying out to attend our wedding. Add to this the fact that I’m a little prone to tears during major life changes (the night before my college graduation I sobbed for five hours), and I think it’s a bad idea to combine getting married with saying goodbye to my family (whom I’m extremely close to, despite being so far away) in the same day. It’s a bit much for me. I’m getting weepy just thinking about it, actually. And we’re not flying out for our honeymoon until the day after the breakfast, anyways, so it’s not like it would make our lives more difficult to just saunter downstairs and eat breakfast.

What’s my best course of action here? Ignore his protests because he’s not saying “no” exactly? Try to explain why I want to have the breakfast? (I’m not certain that “I’m going to cry alot.” really counts as a rationale for him until the point at which I cry alot. ) Compromise and tell him I’m going to it but he doesn’t have to (which might annoy his family slightly, who then only gets to say goodbye to me)?”

– The Plunge Female Reader

In an ideal world, yes, we agree with your groom. You’ve just been spending weeks and months planning this son-of-a-bitch, you’ve been schmoozing with family for what feels like eons, and, well, enough is enough.

Then again, in an ideal world, the NBA’s Western Conference wouldn’t be so stacked, airlines wouldn’t charge for checked luggage, and Justin Bieber would be slinging fries at McDonald’s.

Alas. Our world is not ideal. Especially for weddings that have lots of traveling guests, this breakfast “coda” is not only mainstream, it is, perhaps, inevitable. People almost expect it, those ungrateful bastards.

See also: Real-Life Success Story – In-Law Drama Solved

So here’s how to reason with your dude. Appeal to his reason, his accountability, his desire to be a decent host.  (“But I’m gonnnaaaa CRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!” is slightly less effective.)  Especially since you’re not leaving for your honeymoon until the next day, really, this isn’t that big a deal. It will mean a lot to your guests, and it won’t cost a lot to you.

Put differently, if it were up to us, no, we wouldn’t have one. Like most aspects of wedding planning, however, this is not up to us.

As for the “compromise” of you going solo? Great idea. Just as long as he doesn’t mind you going solo on your honeymoon.

Good luck.

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