Groom Duties

Her Parents Hate the Tux. Do You Change It?

Her parents hate the tux. Do I change it?

Problem… fiance and I picked out the tuxedos for myself and the groomsmen. The Mother and Father of the Bride do not like our picks. Now, we are second guessing them. Should we switch the tuxs to make them happy (note, they are paying for the wedding)?

We picked grey tuxedos, with yellow ties and vests for the guys. Ivory tie and vest for the groom.”

-The Plunge Reader

No question about it. That sort of sucks. No one likes micro-management, and no one likes being told that their clothes are ugly. Jesus. What kind of tuxes did you pick? Did you go with the purple and orange choices, like in Dumb and Dumber?

A couple of questions for you:

1)    Are they also paying for the tuxedo rentals? (This usually isn’t the case.)
2)   How much will this rock the boat?

As we say in Uncomfortable Money Issues, generally, money is power, and whoever pays for the wedding gets to make certain decisions. That said, it’s rare that tuxedo rentals are also paid for. It’s kind of weird for parents to be this sartorially anal.

So you’re within your rights to go through your fiancée and delicately suggest that you keep the original threads.

See also: Formalwear and Tuxes: 20 Rules

But. Here’s where you have to keep in mind the Big Picture. Will this unleash chaos? Will they bitch and moan and make your life unbearable? How much do you really care about the damn tux?  If it’s only a minor issue that will roll off their backs, sure, do it, switch back. If it’s something that will trigger 25 phone calls and 4 months of awkwardness?  Punt. You need to lose some battles to win the war.

Good luck.

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