Wedding Speeches

Actual Toast Given by Actual Best Man: Reader Comment of the Day

Every now and then, it’s nice to have evidence that people read this site, use this site, and put the learnings to good use.

It’s the only thing keeping us from the bottle, Xanax, and self-loathing.

Today, we derive our self-worth from reader “Daryl M,” who tells us, triumphantly, of a wedding speech gone right.

Daryl says, “My speech… thanks for the advice on your site.”

We’ll run Daryl’s speech in it’s entirety. Nice work.  Hits all the right notes.

If anyone else wants to share, email us at [email protected].

Daryl’s speech:

There’s been much clap trap about “I’m not losing a daughter but gaining a son-in-law” here today. And I just have to say… my sympathies to you Lee for trading your daughter for John as your son-in-law. I am certain that everyone in this room agrees that John is getting the better end of that trade!

The first time I met John was at a pub shooting pool. As I recall he was wiping the floor with every opponent he faced… me included… but at least he won with humility and dignity. I think his exact words were… “You yanks… none of you can shoot pool worth a lick, can you?” During breaks we talked outside and he told me about his American dream and his love of motorcycles, and our friendship was formed.

Since then John has proven himself to be a true and great friend… and I will be forever grateful to him for introducing me to the excitement of European Football (that’s soccer to us yanks). John’s favorite team is the Tottenham Spurs. And I am not saying John is a radical fan of the Spurs but I am pretty sure their wedding got scheduled for today so that John might have a chance to watch to final match of the season tomorrow.

John’s accent causes confusion wherever he goes here in America. It’s quite hilarious to watch people wrongly guess his country of origin… so just to set the record straight… John is not from Australia, South Africa, Scotland, or even Ireland. Just look at John and his pasty white skin and his shaved head… he is obviously from a small village in Ethiopia.

Whenever John speaks of Lisa, he lovingly describes her as the kindest person he has ever known. And after meeting her, I told him four words, and I repeat those words every time I see him. Those words: Don’t. Mess. This. Up”. Not only is Lisa kind, she is beautiful, sweet, generous of heart, and loving. In fact, her only flaw seems to be her choice in men.

“John… Lisa…” (Raise glass, pause) “Here’s to a lifetime of love and happiness.”

For more on toasts, see: The Toast with the Most: The Best Man’s Big Speech.

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