No, you can’t return the suit if it’s got regurgitated hot wings and beer from the bachelor party on it. And trust us that shit is hard to get out. Here are some ways we found to keep it from happening in the first place. You’re welcome.
Alright you’re rolling your eyes because this is an obvious one. But seriously drink as much water as you can. And those trips to the bathroom? A good sign, of course. You’re getting rid of those toxins in your body. Try adding a couple teaspoons of lime or lemon, some honey, and some cayenne pepper. This is a well-known detox recipe; and the scientific reason for the cayenne and honey – for hangovers especially – is explained right below.
In addition to honey, try eating (or drinking) some fruits. Sugar slows the absorption of alcohol into your system, so in-taking some things that are high in sugar will act as a defense against the toxins that are still floating around in your system. Bananas are highly recommended, as they contain potassium as well. Try pure cranberry juice. It’s pretty high in sugar; and has well-known detoxing qualities.
Though it has no exactly well-known detoxing attributes, spice definitely takes your attention away from how awful you are feeling. It will also wake you up, and help you low-key sweat out some toxins. Try popping a couple cloves of garlic. (It’s known to ease the stomach as well.) Just make sure to brush your teeth super-well after. Or your “You may now kiss the bride moment” may not be so sweet.
Alka-Seltzer or Ginger
If you’re feeling sick to your stomach and it’s not a case of nerves or cold feet, the old-fashioned dose of Alka-Seltzer might get you feeling all good again. Another recommendation is to drink or eat something with some ginger in it. Ginger is a well-known cure for nausea and stomach problems. Ginger tea, ginger ale, and ginger chews are usually available in stores. If you’re really brave, you can try a ginger shot: using a garlic press, squeeze the juice out of a piece of ginger into a shot glass. Add lemon juice. Bottoms up!
Whole, dry carbohydrates act to soak up the toxins in your body. Dry, rolled oats; wholegrain bread; and wholegrain crackers are all good ideas for a really unsteady stomach. (A lot of people find comfort in a slice of toast with honey.) Eat them slowly, and you should be all set to work yourself up to a satisfying wedding meal later at night.
Okay, don’t go down a steak. Protein is notorious for making you feel weighed down and, trust us, you don’t want that. If you’re feeling nauseous but you’re craving greasy/heavy foods, start off with a couple of eggs to get you going. You can even add some spice to these with sriracha.
Blaze It: Carbon
Scientists have found that carbon filters toxins that alcohol leaves in our bodies. When people with severe alcohol poisoning go to the ER, they have a charcoal solution pumped into their bodies. We recommend a much less severe version of this: burn some toast. Hell, blaze some crackers for all we care. You could also try running to the store and picking up some activated charcoal caps.
You may have heard of the old Russian cure for hangovers: shots of pickle juice. And, weird as it is, it actually works. Salt is a natural electrolyte; and it has the added benefit of forcing you to drink more water. You don’t have to take shooters of pickle juice first thing in the morning, but try munching on some Valassics. You can also try soups that are on the saltier side, like miso soup. Chicken Noodle could be a solid choice too. It’s got the added benefits of lean protein and some carbs included.
If you’ve got those hangover aches and you don’t have the strength or time to slip in some exercise, take a couple of over-the-counter painkillers. Pills that have ibuprofen (like Advil) or naproxen (like Aleve) are particularly good for easing the pain. Just make sure to avoid painkillers with acetaminophen (like Tylenol) in them, because alcohol increases the toxicity of this ingredient in the liver.
Yeah, you might not have time to do a 5K on the big day, but you could do a lap around the block. If you’re queasy, this might not be the best idea – but for headaches and body-aches, this really does the trick. Cardio helps minimize the blood vessel inflammation (which was triggered by all the booze you guzzled) that causes these aches and pains. For inspiration, just think of how upset your lady would be if you passed out at the alter. Bet you wanna run quickly now.
And After That Workout (Or Even If You Don’t)…
Drink something with electrolytes in it. (Especially if you do the above, because exercising releases electrolytes.) Gatorade, coconut water, and Pedialite are all fair game here. Electrolytes prevent the dehydration that results in your post-bachelor party aches, tiredness, and nausea. Drink electrolyte-rich fluids along with water and you should be all set for the day.
When the body rests, it repairs itself. If you have the time, definitely try to sleep. Really, the only true cure for a hangover is time. So if you’re really not feeling hot, slip in some time to catch some Z’s (even thirty minutes will do) before you put on that tux. You won’t be sorry.
We definitely don’t recommend you try all of these. Pick and choose based on how your body is feeling. Also, make sure to avoid hangover myths like the “hair-of-the-dog” trick or going to the sauna or eating greasy foods. All drinking will do will make you more drunk (and your sensitive stomach may not be able to handle more toxic alcohol at this point anyway); the sauna will only make you feel faint; and greasy foods (as tempting as they may be when you’re nauseous) will only unsettle your stomach and make you feel worse in the long run.
[Psst.. if you’re really short on time and you want a ready-made cure, we found this for you: Mercy Hangover Drink.]