Bachelor Party

Bachelor Party Weed Etiquette

@statusdog via Twenty20

Views on marijuana have shifted radically over the last 50 years. In 1969, just 12% of Americans were in favor of legalization. That number is now 60%, and medical or recreational cannabis is now legal in 29 states, plus DC. That means there’s a good chance your bachelor party guests might want to do some vaping along with their drinking, and while we all know the etiquette of alcohol—how to share, pour, buy a round, etc. —not everyone will be familiar with the right way to share the stickiest of the icky.  You need to make sure everyone understands the unspoken rules of smoking pot at the bachelor party.

The Groom Goes First

In most social settings, whoever rolls the joint or packs the bowl takes the first hit. But this is a bachelor party and we think the groom should get a few perks. That first hit is called “green” because the marijuana is still fresh and moist. It’s like the first slice of cake at a wedding. So be gracious—even if you paid for the weed and packed the bong, pass it to the groom first.

No Humphreys Here

Even if you are the groom or best man, don’t sit there taking ten hits. You are in a room with your best friends who are waiting their turn. Yes, chances are if the weed is good you will soon forget anything exists other than your navel. So take two bangs and move it along. And if the bowl is cashed, it is polite to let the next person know, so they don’t get a mouthful of ash. Just because you are done with your hit, doesn’t mean your friends have arrived in the stratosphere with you.  

Brown Bag It

If you are a guest at a bachelor party where you know people are fans of the sticky icky, it’s nice to show up with some weed. The days of buying $5 nickel bags from some dude in the park are long gone. Now, a guy in nice sneakers will deliver medical grade marijuana to your door—and some of that bud can get pricey. So don’t just show up and smoke the contents of someone else’s paycheck. Be a kind bud and bring some kind bud. (This rule works in reverse as well: if you’ll be abstaining–see below–you don’t have to bring any weed. Nor should you be expected to pony up for someone else’s buzz.)

Don’t Pressure Your Peers

Listen, Willie Nelson: we’re all for it if you feel like the wake-and-bake lifestyle is right for you. But just as not everyone drinks alcohol, not everyone likes weed. It makes some people nervous, sad, and crazy. So if someone politely declines when you pass the pipe, don’t be pushy about it. Respect choices, including the right to just say no.  Plus, someone will need to have the mental lucidity to order burritos. It’s not a bad idea to have a designated dialer.

Use Fire Sparingly

If you’re using a pipe, don’t torch the entire bowl and leave the next guy with a serving of roasted ashes. Use the lighter carefully, and try to light only one corner, so there’s at least one reasonably nice minty fresh hit left.

Keep It Clean

Whether you’re using a pipe, bong, joint or a vape pen–don’t slobber all over the thing. Nobody wants your saliva and DNA in their piehole. And if you have a flu or are otherwise contagious, abstain or bring your own private device. Even if it’s medical marijuana, you can still pass along germs.

Be Extra Careful with Edibles 

The thing about edibles is it can seem like nothing is happening for a few hours and then all of a sudden, the high sneaks up on you like a giant monster with a mallet and smashes you over the head, leaving you feeling very weird and freaked out. Nobody wants that to happen at a bachelor party (or ever) so if you decide to offer edibles a) make sure everyone involved knows what they’re ingesting and b) go slowly. It’s better to nibble a small piece and wait to see how the high feels than end up with a bunch of dudes in the fetal position.

Remember You Are Boring 

One drawback about weed (also common to alcohol consumption) is it tends to make people chatty. So if you have a smoke session at your bachelor party, try to resist the temptation to hold forth with a long speech about the meaning of life, or a story about that awesome time when…something… fucking awesome happened. Nobody cares. Just chill out and listen to the music.

Stop Pretending You Know How to Roll a Joint

There is no shame in admitting this: it’s really kind of hard to roll a joint. It takes skills and practice, and if you do it wrong, it will waste the product and also bum everyone out. Pretending you’re good at it when you aren’t is like trying to open a non-twist off beer cap with your teeth. It never ends well. As far as blunts go, we tend to stick to the old rule of thumb: if you are not now and never have been a member of Wu-Tang Clan, you probably shouldn’t be rolling a blunt. But that’s just us.

Keep the Vibe Positive

Remember that weed is a hallucinogenic and everyone reacts differently. You might be used to it, but if you have some newbies in your circle, and you notice one of them has drifted off and is petting the wall and trying not to weep, make sure you keep the vibe positive and supportive.

If someone starts to get an anxiety attack, be kind and help them mellow out. These days, some weed is stronger than LSD. Don’t laugh at or prank or joke in a way that might traumatize someone who is tripping their balls off.  

You might want to keep a little CBD oil on hand in case anyone starts freaking out: it’s a fast acting tincture made from marijuana that can counter the paranoia and stress sometimes caused by THC. As an emergency back up plan, make sure you have some funny comedy videos on hand, like old 30 Rock or Parks and Rec. If things get weird, Liz Lemon or Andy Dwyer will come to the rescue.  


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