Bachelor Party

Go For The Combo: Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties

It seems like there are dozens of rituals surrounding modern weddings but the one that’s most fraught with danger is more than 2,000 years old: the bachelor party. Before you partake in this epic tradition, take a moment to consider the best and worst case scenarios.

Best case: Your bachelor party is a gloriously hedonistic celebration of male bonding that will echo through the ages in story and song.

Worst case: You wake up in a cornfield handcuffed to a rodeo clown who is wearing nothing but an enormous red smile and your fiancé’s wedding ring.

It could go either way. And here’s a worse thought: the same thing applies to your fiancée’s bachelorette party. You don’t even want to think of all the mischief she and her girls could get up to.

The anxiety that brides feel about bachelor parties (and visa versa) is almost as old a tradition as the parties themselves. But if you want to avoid all that, you can shake things up: have a combined bachelor/bachelorette party with your fiancée.

Hold up, don’t rip your shirt in two and howl “Noooooo” to the ceiling until you check out these simple and solid reasons why you should consider this idea.

Invest in Bonds—They Always Pay Off

Weddings can sometimes feel cliquish. Not everyone knows each other. Guests are seated on opposites sides of the aisle. Friends and family start flocking into comfortable clusters.

Don’t let your wedding become a series of cluster flocks. A combined bachelor/bachelorette party encourages more connective tissue between your buddies and your fiancé’s friends. When the big day arrives, both of your crews will have already shared an adventure and this sense of comradery will bring everyone closer at your wedding and beyond.

Couples That Play Together Stay Together

Old-school bachelor/bachelorette parties fueled by drunkenness and debauchery can be awesome but they can also create some honesty issues. Will you really tell your fiancée the details of your best man, the stripper and why you can never eat Reddi-Wip again? If you’re doing something that you might lie to her about later, don’t do it. Avoid secrecy and encourage companionship by experiencing this milestone moment together. You can still get crazy but you’ll be getting crazy as a couple.

He Shoots, He Scores

Truth be told, you will score major points with your bride-to-be and her parents if you initiate a shared party. It will reinforce the impression at you’re a thoughtful, forward-thinking guy who is serious about building a common foundation for your marriage. Everyone will appreciate this…except that one creepy uncle who will regale you with tales of his stag party years ago, which involved bootlegged VHS tapes in a wood-paneled basement.

Venns With Benefits                           

Venn diagrams are the low-hanging fruit of Powerpoint presentations for a reason: they’re simple and informative. So, as you’re deciding exactly what to do with your extended crew, take time to consider the interests of everyone involved. Focus on the overlap and build your party from there. Once you’ve identified a common interest (thrill-seeking, pub-crawling, beach-combing, music-loving), you’ll be on the fast track to an inclusive event that everyone will be looking forward to.

There Will Be Blood

Whatever you do, no matter how tempted you might be, never just combine a traditional bachelor and bachelorette party into one venue and call it a day. It could end in disaster. After several drinks and half a lap-dance, someone will feel uncomfortable, insecure and/or angry. What’s that you say? Ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump and grind? Putting aside ’90s R&B/hip-hop logic, it’s a rough road to head down and you don’t want any residual negativity from your party to taint your wedding day.


—Chris Knoll

Bottom Line

With a little imagination, planning and thoughtfulness your bachelor-all party will not only be the perfect prologue to your wedding but also a tribute to the friendships that will be enrich your marriage until death do you part.

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