“I’m 17 and getting married. Should I get a prenup?”
Me and my fiance are getting married November 28th. I am 17 I know I cannot sign a prenup underage, but if I get emancipated can I? thanks.
I have some bad news for you. You’re about to hate us. I mean, you’re gonna want to spit in our face and kick us in the nuts.
We’re guessing that every time you’ve told one of those obnoxious “adults” about your pending nuptials, you get a condescending speech about how you’re too young, how you should wait, how you don’t quite understand the gravity of this decision.
Which, if you’re anything like us, must surely piss you off. If 18 is old enough to enlist in the Marines and travel to Baghdad with an M16, then, damnit, 17 is old enough to choose the person you love. History is on your side. Centuries ago, it was common–expected, even–for you to get hitched the nanosecond you hit puberty.
It’s a fair point.
We can guess why you wrote The Plunge. Unlike the stodgy, close-minded, humorless old coots, we would say, “Screw it! When you’re in love you’re in love–here’s the way you outsmart the system and get married when you’re 17. Fu#k it, right?”
So this will come as a surprise and disappointment.
Here’s our advice: wait.
Unless you have some super time-sensitive circumstance that you didn’t mention, what’s the downside to waiting? If you love this person, you’ll still love them a year from now. If you were meant to be, then you’ll be meant to be a year from now.
Check out our article Is She The One? The quiz itself is sort of silly, but it addresses some key points to consider: marriage is about more than just lust and love and gooey emotions. It has to do with how you and your partner will work as a team, handle substantive issues like money and children, how you argue, and how you live together.
As for your prenup and emancipation? Apologies, but our lawyers with pluck out our eyeballs with an ice cream scoop if we give you actual legal advice. We can’t help you there. The fact that you mention “prenup,” however, only adds to our more global concerns. Our best (and annoying) advice is to wait and think really, really, really hard to make sure that this is how you want to spend your next 70 years.
We get that this advice might not seem fair. Sure, you’re only 17, but maybe you’re smarter than the average 30-year-old. Maybe you’re more mature than the average 30-year-old. More emotionally responsible. More self-aware. A better communicator. After all, there are millions of people over 18 who get married, but shouldn’t. Maybe you should. All good points. But we ask you this….what’s the downside for waiting? If it’s good now, why wouldn’t it be good next year?
Okay. We’re off to go watch some Wheel of Fortune, drink prune juice, and yell at some youngsters for playing on our lawn.
Sorry for the grumpy rant. Regardless of your decision, we wish you the best of luck.