We all have this friend, if it isn’t us. While you steal your girl’s deep conditioner on occasion, his bathroom boasts $20 bottles of shampoo and smelly canisters of pomade, and you can’t figure out why his shave is always, always closer and cleaner than yours. Giving this guy a glorified beer mug or a knife set will only solidify your place as his less fashionable, neanderthalic, friend. So you’ve got to step it up. From shave kits, to colognes, to moisturizer, we’ll make sure your groomsmen is satisfied, freshly scented, and ready to give you pointers for a wedding day beauty regimen.
For the Woodsman Hipster
Craftsman Soap Co Beard Oil – Hops Flower – $19.95
Why does it seem that beards and beer go together? Along, of course, with a flannel shirt, Clark’s, and the overall appearance of a lumber-sexual? I can’t say. Infused with hops flower, this beard oil is ideal for the groomsman who looks like he’s been simultaneously fighting bears and modeling for Carhartt, while also managing to brew his own beverage. Talk about multitasking.
For the Closet-Primper
Juniper Ridge Trail Resin Cologne – $35
Blended with beeswax, some sort of lichen infusion, and a distillation of great outdoorsy barks, roots, and soils, this scent is ideal for your faux backpacker friend, or your real one who also likes to smell good. No girl need know he wasn’t actually scaling high peaks or traversing the desert before their date – only you know he spent more time in the bathroom than she did.
For the Softy
L’Occitane Cade Complete Care Moisturizer – $44
You know which of your groomsmen is going to confess his lifelong love and appreciation for his college buddies at the bachelor party, tear up over the rehearsal dinner slide show like a grandmother at a Bar mitzvah, and fall helplessly in love with the bridesmaid he has to walk down the aisle. This is for him – a moisturizer that will keep his face just as soft as his mushy little heart but keep him smelling like the rest of your more manly crew.
For the Traveler (or the one who is always stealing hotel soaps)
Birchbox – $60
It arrives monthly with samples of the latest, greatest men’s grooming products, plus a fun little gadget for him to add to his collection of gadgets that no real person would ever need. You know he’s going to leave the hotel after your bachelor party with a shopping bag of goodies he nabbed from the housekeeping cart – so beat him to the punch and have a box of product delivered every few weeks to keep him on his pedicured little toes.
For Your Hero
Aesop Perseus Grooming Kit – $90
Face and body cleanser, and post-shave lotion feature botanical oils, green tea, and olive infusion that will leave him feeling just as much like a Greek hero as you will after the eighth round at your bachelor party.
For the Man Bun
Pankhurst Hair Gift Box – $120
Only a guy with as much hair as your fiancé needs as many products for it as she does – am I right? Enter the Hair Gift Box. Shampoo and conditioner set your man up to have only the healthiest, glossiest locks, pomade locks it all down, and if he’s ever in a rush – like when he’s late to your ceremony – there is head-to-toe shampoo that will keep his skin just as soft and scented as his excessive hair. Gross.
For the Professional
D R Harris Arlington Kit
This is where he gets that close shave from, but it never hurts to have a new badger hair brush and a stockpile of aftershave milk. With this new razor he’ll ditch whatever blade he has been using and go head to head with all the other baby-faced primpers; and avoid giving his wedding hookup beard burn.
For the Bald Man
Thom Brown + Harry’s Refillable Gold Plated Razor – $230
This guy needs a razor that will be his best friend – even better than you, because you don’t love the curve of his chin or the slope of his upper lip quite as much as Thom and Harry will, and neither did his ex. Which is why she’s his ex, and why he still doesn’t have a gold-plated razor.
