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I'm going to give a totally different perspective to this.
I have been a single dad, raising my 3 children for the last 14 years. We are very close. My son joined the Army right after graduation this year and just came home for Christmas (The best Christmas present I could have received). On Tuesday of this week I received a phone call from him (at about 4:30pm). He said "Dad, I have some huge news... Haley and I are getting married." My response was "Congratulations baby". I then asked if they had set a date and he told me they were on their way to get married right now. Wait... "I'm an hour away hun, what time are you doing it?". He said right now. I was not invited nor was I able to get their fast enough. Although he was visiting his mother with the other kids at the time and they were all in attendance.
My feelings: Wow, I have raised these guys with love and hard work, by myself for years. I was not only hurt for not being invited earlier, but because when I thought about it I realized that they had been planning this for almost a week and I wasnt told. Were they affraid that I'd try to talk them out of it? Why wouldn't any of the kids tell dad? I have a ton of questions that will never be answered, but the feeling is being crapped on for years of support (financial and emotional). I have made the choice to let the issue go. My son leaves in a couple days again. Will I see him or talk to him before he leaves, no. The pain is such that there is absolutely no trust with anyone involved in this. 2 days of no sleep, wondering why, wondering whats next... Eloping is selfish. This is a time when a parent has the ability to give the hand of their child to another person, trusting that person to care for them as they have for so many years. Not having that option leaves a sense of failure and disrespect in my heart. The best advice I have, is to think about who is affected by your decisions, as there is a response that may be quite different than your initial thoughts.
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