My fiance and I come from very different backgrounds. My parents own a small business and do pretty well. Hers are doing fine now but had flirted with bankruptcy and debt in the past. Both famiies have very different values. Her mom had her when she was 18 and my mom had me when she was 35. We started dating at the end of 6th grade and we are now going into our Jr. year of college and will be getting married next May.

My fiance has always felt somewhat uncomfortable around my family and I always thought that with time it would disappear. However after 8 years of being together the issues are still there. I'm not sure what to do. It really bothers her and I don't feel like she should feel this way but obviously she can't help it. She's here a lot and feels like she mooching off of me and my family when she eats dinner here, etc. I need to solve this problem before we get married but I feel like if I bring it up to my parents they won't know what I'm talking about. Because they are just being themselves. I confronted them about whether or not they were 100% behind our marrige and they said they were. So I'm really torn here. Please help!

Zach

Before anyone can give you some good advice, I think you need to give us a better idea of what makes your fiancee uncomfortable.  For example, is it just the dinner thing, or are there certain kinds of situations where she feels weird?

My recommendation is usually to deal with this sort of thing head-on.  If you have some idea of what's making her feel uncomofrtable, talk to your parents.  Let them know you don't think they're doing anything wrong, or that your fiancee doesn't like them.  It really could be something like your parents are just being overly friendly compared to hers.  In-law issues are pretty rough, but if you can work towards figuring out the "what" you can usually find a how to stop it.

Your parents are behind you. That's important. As for being comfortable around your family, it's something that she may never fully develop. Does she like your family? If so that's what count's. They like her. It's just that your families personality and her's may never fully blend like you hope. In those 8 years of life, there was a lot of change goning on. Middle school, high school, college. It may take until she's older to completely get there.

Just remember that you love her, your parents don't hate her, and everything will be fine.