Hi I want to propose to my girlfriend in a couple of months. I'm still nervous as hell when I think about it. I bought the ring a few months ago and its quite nice but I'm a bit concerned that I dont have any money saved up. I've got a good job paying about $65k but havent been able to save up any money for many reasons.

This is my problem and the main source of my worries. For now, I want to be able to take care of her, which I'm confident I can but at the same time I have a few doubts as I have clearly never done this before. I dont want to discuss this with my family or her family and the issue of money comes up and I say "oh havent got any right now but i'll start to put some away" - which is what i plan to do from now (I mean the saving bit). to further add to it her parents are ridiculously wealthy. I mean $2000 on an armchair type of wealthy. So I'm wary her dad may not be so enthused when it emerges I dont have much money to my name.

The actual wedding is gonna be at the end of 2012 (thats the plan anyway) and the custom where we live is her parents will pay for most of it anyway. However I still feel a bit of a loser asking her to marry me with no savings.

I just wanted to know, am I in a bad situation or is this a thing that happens normally? I dont want to be one of those "i'll marry you when i have money boyfriends" but at ther same time dont feel comfortable proposing and making plans when financially i'm effectively starting from square one (savings wise anyway). Is having a good job that pays well good enough even if i dont have any savings?

Hey man,

Short answer: Most people are broke when they get married, so you're no different than everyone else.

I sure was. Now my wife and I have three kids and everyone is well taken care of.

Slightly longer answer: It's a good idea to start saving now, but I wouldn't let that delay your proposal if you're both ready. Live below your means. Drive a used car (and keep driving it for some time). Buy a less expensive house than you can afford. Doing things like this will actually allow you to build up your savings fairly quickly and help get some of that anxiety off your chest.

And it's okay if her parent's are wealthy and cool, but if they're wealthy and would actually look down on someone for not having money than that's a bummer. As long as your future fiance' isn't like that too I wouldn't say it's a deal breaker, but it could lead to some awkward holiday's with the in-laws.

All in all, if your lack of a savings account is the only thing holding you back I'd say you're good to go! Like you said, you've got a good job and are making decent money so you're off to a great start.

If you've got a good job and you are making decent money so i think you're off to a great start.

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