The Plunge Blog

Yes, it's a cliché: the groom hates wedding planning. But some clichés are clichés because they're, well... true. Forget all the stories you heard about "Groomzilla." 99% of grooms aren't Groomzillas. They're just dudes getting married.

Normally we write for men. Normally we give them tools, tricks, and insights to survive the process. Today, we cross the line to help out you, The Bride. So how do you get your man on board?

5 Ways to get us involved:

1. Don't pretend the not-fun stuff is fun.

Don't whitewash the fence. Even if you're savvier than Tom Sawyer, usually, this tactic will backfire. We're just not buying it.  When you say, "Sweetie, it's going to be so much fun to select those ice sculptures!" you lose credibility. Don't pretend that the not-fun stuff is fun. (Like, say, evaluating the different packages of flowers.) In fact, go the opposite route, which leads us to...

A reader asks us:

"I've got a bachelor party coming up, and my younger brother/best man is on the case."

"Here's the issue: My brother and nearly all of the invitees are unmarried and to my knowledge have limited experience with bachelor parties (to be fair, the same is true for me).

Score one for the good guys.

A few months ago, a reader asked us for help about the guestlist. He thought that most of the "overage" was because of an annoying mother-in-law.

At the time, we gave him this advice, here.

He's back with good news.

Every now and then, it's nice to have evidence that people read this site, use this site, and put the learnings to good use.

It's the only thing keeping us from the bottle, Xanax, and self-loathing.

Today, we derive our self-worth from reader "Daryl M," who tells us, triumphantly, of a wedding speech gone right.

Daryl says, "My speech... thanks for the advice on your site."

As regular readers now know, from time to time, we turn to one of the less-crazy bridal sites, OneWed, for "her perspective."

From OneWed's Marta Segal Block:

A reader asks:

"I was wondering what style most men get as their wedding rings. I've been looking online and I see all kinds. But I noticed there wasn't a section here about men's wedding bands.

"I prefer the black titanium style. I want the band to be black, and not huge. Most of what I see are huge. I found a simple black titanium band I like, but I cant make up my mind. I'm going for simple, but not all the time. My father and every other older man (not so much the younger) have a small yellow gold band. I'm going for traditionally nontraditional.

"My fiancee has recommended I perhaps get two bands. (gasp!) One for normal wearing, to get dirty and banged and whatnot, and one to keep nice. I've found both, but really?  Two weddings bands?

A reader asks:

"Hi guys,

"I'm having a pretty weird problem with my wedding planning. My fiance's groomsmen have pretty much bailed on throwing him a bachelor party!!

"I don't want him to go without (including the whole strippers and booze shebang if he wants, provided there is no actual she-banging).

A female reader writes:

"I got married to a guy 4 months back. He had his bachelor party in May.  I came to know a month back that they had gone to a strip bar and he had a lap dance.

"When I asked him a day after his bachelors party, he said they just did bar hopping, didn't go to a strip bar.... but when his friend said that they went to strip bar, he confessed that they did, and that he got a lap dance.

"He did apologize to me that he lied, and did say sorry hundred times. On my insistence, he took me to a strip bar to see what it looks like. This issue was discussed before we started dating that he would never go to a strip bar.

We don't even know where to begin.

This doesn't need an introduction.

Just... behold.

In response to our story 20 (Stripper-Free) Bachelor Party Ideas, a reader  writes:

A reader writes:

"I had originally decided on an all-day skeet shooting gunfest bachelor party. We would all show up at someone's field around noon, throw up some tailgating tents, back up some trucks full of ammo, and expend enough rounds to make a South American drug lord cry with envy. Afterwards, we could go to dinner or even catch a hockey game in person. It fits me because I am a gun nut, I don't drink (or smoke anything), and I don't do strippers. This plan also works in that I have 4 brothers who all drink, varied friends who do or don't drink, but all of whom are capable of coming out to such an event and having a good time. They can drink (or not) as they please.

I threw this idea to my brothers, and my oldest (the party animal of the family) immediately tried to convince me into something else such as a deep sea fishing trip, or a weekend at his hunting cabin over in Arkansas. I got the others on my side about the shoot-fest and thought the idea was done but now the oldest is bringing it up again about how we need to do a weekend out somewhere instead of a single afternoon. I can agree, a weekend long bachelor party would be fine, but there are several big problems in the way of this.

As regular readers now know, from time to time, we turn to one of the less-crazy bridal sites, OneWed, for "her" perspective.

From OneWed's Marta Segal Block:

As President Obama said when he learned he won the Nobel Peace Prize: "Humbled."

Today, Ask Men included The Plunge as one of the Top 10 Twitter Accounts All Men Should Follow. 

We were a little slow to embrace Twitter -- sort of like the iPhone and copy and paste -- but now that we finally have, we're glad someone else doesn't hate it.

From AskMen.com, and writer Chris Illuminati:

You need to see this email, sent by the Best Man.

I got this months ago. Read it. Appreciate it. You have to love the sense of mystery, style, and adventure.

Also, and maybe best of all, you have to love the fact that everything is taken care of and planned. No group decisions. No chaos-by-committee. This guy isn't fu$king around.

The bachelor party itself? I just got back. Still processing. Still dazed. Still blown away. I've been to many, many, many bachelor parties in my day. They're almost all for lifelong-best-friends, so I don't want to make a Sophie's Choice and say which one is "best." I love hanging out with my friends, period, regardless of context. But in terms of sheer originality, adrenaline, audacity, bucket-list-items-checked-off, and wow-factor, this one takes the cake.

A reader writes:

"I'm getting married in July and one of my best friends is getting married in September of this year.  I say "one of" because I have two best friends. 

"In fact, there are three of us that are best friends with each other, the third isn't getting married any time soon.  I decided to make the one getting married my best man, and the other a groomsman. 

"However I found out I'm not even a groomsman for my best man (he has about 4 or brothers who are all groomsmen) yet he makes our other friend that's not getting married a groomsman. 

There are only a few things we stress as really, really, really important, the kind of shit you can't ignore or blow off.

The proposal is one of these things.

A female reader comments on our article The 10 Commandments of Popping the Question: