After spending 60 hours in Vegas and sleeping for only 3, I sacrificed my liver for a mini-addendum to our bachelor party guide
. Of course, sharing specific details would violate the trust of the groom and groomsmen, so we'll just focus on the abstract.10 more rules for a Vegas bachelor party: 1. Never scream "WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!??!!!!" at the blackjack table.
We sat next to this bearded, pot-bellied guy for a solid 15 minutes. And yes, 15 minutes is a long time when he literally bellows out "WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!??!!!!" after every single win. If he bets five dollars and the dealer busts, he'd yell it out and give a Tiger Woods fist-pump. Every. Single. Time. Never be That Guy. While Vegas is the city of excess and an excuse to let loose, it is not, however, an excuse to act like a cheese-dick. (On the upside, this became our favorite running joke of the weekend.)2. Take lots of pictures...
...of golf, the hotel rooms, and brunches. I used to push for a rule of "No Pictures." But by showcasing these harmless ones, you give the illusion of transparency and full disclosure.3. Make sure that 9 guys can really fit in a limo.
When we stood in one of the never-ending taxi lines, I thought I'd be a hero by flagging down a limo that promised to carry us all--in style!--for only $50. There were 9 of us, so, excluding the groom, that's around $7 bucks a piece. Not bad, right? The limo pulls up. And yes, while the 9 of us technically squeezed into this "limo," that included 2 guys in the front seat (next to the driver) and one guy practically in another guy's lap. Not the lapdance he envisioned. So when you arrange for limo service, press the guy and double-check that the limo will comfortably seat 9 (or whatever) full-grown men.4. Get on the list.
If you decide to hit a club, call ahead and get your group on a list. This is one logistical item that worked flawlessly. When we hit Tao
, I had arranged for the 9 of us to be on the comped-list and cut the line entirely. This is critical. Shuffling your feet in a line for 70 minutes--only to get mocked at the door--is a sure way to kill your buzz. If you don't have a connection, then just call the club advance and arrange for bottle service. It's worth it.5. Use a spreadsheet.
Dividing up costs can get messy. So, rather than trying to settle up at every restaurant or every bar, just take turns buying things, use the honor code, and then settle up at the end of the weekend with a spreadsheet. This is particularly handy when you're figuring out the hotel room. (Does The Plunge have a spreadsheet for you? Glad you asked. Get it here
.)6. Call ahead to inquire about prices.
If, theoretically, we went to any adult clubs--and maybe we did and maybe we didn't--theoretically, I would recommend calling in advance to get the low-down on cover charges, minimum drinks, seating arrangements, and any other fees. Theoretically, if you don't do this, maybe you'd get fleeced. But how would I know?7. Allow breathing room.
Solidarity. That's the mission of the weekend. You have dinner together, you hit the casinos together, and theoretically you might or might not go to other establishments together. You do not, however, have to spend every waking moment holding each others hands like Kindergartners. On Saturday afternoon some guys chilled by the pool, some napped, some gambled, and some went on a 123-minute quest to purchase cotton candy. At the end of this "me-time" period, we all had batteries recharged and were ready for the Big Dinner. So bake some downtime into the schedule.8. When you start ordering non-alcoholic beer, you've had too much to drink.
At 4:30am and craving more alcohol (always a good idea), my buddy told the waitress he wanted a Sharps, thinking, perhaps, it was some exotic Import. He paid $8. And then he drank it, happy and satisfied, until we cracked up laughing and told him he just ordered a non-alcoholic beer. He's not too thrilled with his new nickname---Sharps. 9. Embrace the jet-lag.
This depends on your sleeping patterns. But if you're from the east coast, then chances are that no matter how tired you are, no matter how drunk you get, you won't be able to sleep in. So roll with it. Use it to your advantage. Knowing that we'd naturally be up early no matter what, we scheduled an 8:46 am tee time. And you know what? This early morning golfing was one of the absolute highlights of the trip, even if it meant that every birdie triggered a sarcastic (and mercifully quieter) "Who's Your Daddy Nooowwww!!!?!"10. Fork over the plastic.
If you have a guy in your group with a gambling problem--and this "guy in your group" might or might not be me--the most effective way to deal with it is to confiscate his ATM and credit cards. We did this. And it worked. If someone loses a boat-load of money and sulks all weekend, it can drain away the weekend's levity.
this guy in our group gave his card to Sharps, and told him that under no circumstances should he see the card again in Vegas. My gambling losses? Zero. Because no matter how many times I argue this on the phone with my Bank of America representative, the gambling losses that happen in Vegas won't, apparently, stay in Vegas.For more on the bachelor party, see our complete guide.