The Plunge Blog

It's Saturday night. Close your eyes and imagine a guys night out-pitchers, shooting pool, grilled steaks, baseball game, whatever the hell it is you do.

Think about who you'd invite for this. Your buddies. Your real friends. Do you include your boss? Or your other random co-workers?

NO.

Because they're not your friends, they're dudes that you're forced to spend time with out of circumstance and decorum. Your free-time is your free-time. So apply the same rules to your wedding. Don't over-think this. And don't bow to intra-office politics. Unless you have a genuinely best-buds relationship with your co-workers, scrub them from your guest list.

Any questions?

[You] Too late. I accidentally invited a few of them.

Have you sent them invitations?

Well...no, not exactly. But over coffee, I casually mentioned that of course they're invited. So now I'm obligated to formally invite them, right?

Wrong. You're off the hook. Just throw your fiancée under the bus.

Excuse me?

As we mentioned in our overall advice on guest lists (click here), the best approach with co-workers is to lie, lie, lie. Tell them that because it's a small wedding, your fiancée and her family have a strict "no co-worker" policy. You'd love to invite them...but your hands are tied.

Hmm. What about my boss?

Same rule applies to him or her. Besides, on this day of all days, do you really want to deal with your frickin' boss?

Yeah, but...when they got married, my other co-workers invited the boss to the wedding. I need to keep pace.

Dude. Have a backbone. Embrace some basic psychology: people want you when they feel unwanted. Think back to when you were dating, how the "unattainable girl" was hotter than the one who dropped her skirt. Same goes for the workplace. By not inviting your boss, however subconsciously, you just earned a little more cache.

I want to invite a few buddies from Marketing, but I don't want to invite the dorks from Internal Audit.

Bad idea. Better to go all or nothing. When you invite some of your work friends, you open the door for tension and bruised feelings. People get jealous.

For more Q&A, see the entire article Co-Workers: In or Out?

Let's not kid ourselves. Most of the time, prizes and raffles in the "wedding industry" are cheesy and eye-roll-worthy. 

"Yaaaay!!! 5 lucky brides will win manicures for their BIG DAY!!!" Ugh. Chop up our fingers in the gift-registry-cuisinart, already.

Our friends over at OneWed, though, have an interesting new hook.

Their premise is this: much of the wedding-porn fails to consider the "true costs" of weddings, and a lot of junk falls through the cracks. So they launched the "Off the Chart" giveaway. Basically, they're awarding $15,000 worth of stuff like honeymoon airfare, tux packages, hotel rooms at Sandals resorts, etc...the kind of stuff that's not (often) in your wedding budget.  Yeah, there's some cheesy bridal crap that you can ignore, but plenty of guy-friendly items, too. (Get the full prize list here.)

It's in our genes. Every guy likes to think of himself as a good tipper. It shows a certain sense of style, a worldliness, a respect for a code of behavior. You would never be "That Guy" who tips a measly 9% at dinner, and you would never stiff the pizza guy. As Steve Martin's character puts it as the $100-bill-palming-gangster in My Blue Heaven: "It's not tipping I believe in. It's OVER-tipping."

The odds are good, however, that you have no frickin' clue how much to tip all the Wedding Weirdos, that frightening mob of caterers, photographers, bartenders, wedding cake extortionists (really, at $600 for a pile of sugar and butter, is there anything to call it besides extortion, and that's before you even consider the ridiculous "groom's cake"), limo drivers, the list goes on and on and on, much like the wedding planning itself.

So. While it's possible that your fiancée will already be all over this junk, leaving you blissfully ignorant, you should minimize your chances of being a cheap bastard. To answer everything you could ever want to know about wedding tipping, we've enlisted the help of Francine Ribeau, who, before we met her and realized she was cool, we sort of thought of as "The Enemy." In other words? She's a wedding planner.

Briefly--so you don't have to--we travel to the dark side to chat with Francine about tipping and overall vendor etiquette.  And if you're in San Diego and need some help, her info's here.

When you think about it, even the idea of "eloping" is such a damn hassle. You have to drive your car to the courthouse, find parking, kill the engine, lock the car doors, walk inside the building, and then, after you get married, you have to unlock the doors and restart your car.

Who has time for all that?

Happily, there's a better way. A faster way.  In a lightning bolt of inspiration, a Tampa Bay businesswoman has created (what might be) the world's first "drive-through wedding chapel."

Brilliant. Why spend more time on your wedding than you would ordering a Big Mac and strawberry milkshake?

According to the St. Peterberg Times, the mastermind behind this revolution is Rev. Sharon Burnett, who converted an old dry-cleaning building into a "metaphysical store" called, ah,  "Mother Earth Goddess."

From the St. Petersberg Times:

Unsure what to do with the sliding glass doors where customers used to pick up their pressed and cleaned garments, Burnett, a notary public and minister, decided to officiate behind-the-wheel nuptials. Couples with a marriage license, a witness over the age of 18 and $20 can exchange vows without turning off the engine.

"It's no different than standing at the courthouse," said Burnett, 58.

Appointments aren't necessary.

Beautiful. Appointments aren't even necessary. Last time I checked, even my frickin' dentist requires an appointment. 

You have this crazy idea. And that idea is this: since we're in a recession, since nearly every business in the world is slashing unnecessary expenses, since you spend less on food, entertainment, and vacations than you used to, since your very job is less stable...then maybe, just maaaaybe, it makes sense to cut back on non-essential, vanity-fueled luxury items.

We have some news for you. The idea is just that: crazy.

According to a recent study by our good friends at--yep, you guessed it--The Knot, the economy hasn't really touched the spending-orgy of bridal jewelry. Specifically, 80% of 9,000 married couples said they're not cutting back. It's almost like they're in Congress.

Other findings from The Knot's survey, courtesy of Jewelers' Circular Keystone:

...The average spend on an engagement ring is $5,800, with over 20% of couples spending more than they had originally planned. Although 16% of couples determined the engagement ring budget together, the groom ultimately made the decision (82%).
...
-Couples not going for matching wedding bands. Couples are spending over $2,000 for both of their bands, and the bride is getting top billing - as they spend almost twice as much on hers than his. Only 15% of couples purchased matching wedding bands. It's no surprise that the over 60% of brides chose bands with bling (only 15% of grooms have bands with diamonds), while grooms chose rings with a ‘comfort' fit.

Full insights from JCK here.

And stop by here for our full coverage on buying the engagement ring (including how much you should spend) and here for what you should know about buying wedding bands.

Now go back to work, so you can make enough money to pay for $X,000 worth of stuff that you don't really need.

File under: "Stuff we wish we thought of saying ourselves." 

Over in the Plunge Forums, user "corkdork" (his choice, not ours) chimed in with some helpful rules of thumb for people serving outside booze.

The upside is obvious: you can (usually) negotiate a better deal, you have greater flexibility, and you can more easily personalize the beer and wine label. (Note: by "personalize the beer and wine label," we don't mean actually putting your name on pink and flowery labels-vomit, right?--we mean you can choose the precise brands of beer and wine you like.) If your venue lets you do it, think about doing it. 

You have questions.

We have answers. Today in a value-sized, 3-for-1 special, we cover unconventional honeymoon destinations (Washington DC: yay or nay?), the virtues of linen, and how to get an engagement ring when you're broke.

A reader writes:

When it comes to raw practicality, it's obvious that paper wedding invitations make about as much sense as, say, journeying to your wedding on horseback, using the telegraph, or waiting until marriage to lose your virginity. It's anachronistic.

We have better tools. More modern tools. Think about it--when's the last time you actually used the postal service to get together with your buddies? It's easier (and cheaper) to use e-mail, texts, Facebook, Evite, etc.

As you are painfully aware, however, you are not simply getting together with your buddies. Common sense has been hijacked by a junkie's need preference for etiquette, decorum, and old-fashioned invitations. The gods of wedding manners have decreed that you can't simply e-invite people; it's Just. Not. Done.

You probably shouldn't even suggest digital-invitations to your bride. It's not a battle you can win.

It's a simple media equation. Recession + Wedding Season = 20,000 articles about how to save money at your wedding. (Are we guilty of this cliché? Absolutely.)

Today's Wall Street Journal, however, finds a curious new angle: brides who resell their gowns after the wedding.

Is this logical? Money-smart? Yes and yes. But go ahead and try suggesting this to your fiancée . We dare you. And then we'll profile you in our new sister site, TheCoffin.com.

In fact, this trend inspired us to write the Top 10 Worst Money-Saving Ideas you can possibly suggest to your bride: 

The United States economy, at the moment, isn't so great for minor things like employment, investment, or retirement.

The silver lining? If you're feeling gutsy and want to pocket around $20,000 bucks, it's a hell of a good time to get eloped.

As explained in The Plunge's Get Out of Wedding Free Card article, the most persuasive eloping-reasons involve finances:

1. Think of the Children

As newspapers continue to hook every possible story to the economy, The Boston Globe highlights another wedding issue that's impacted by the recession: the guest list. And, specifically, Save the Date cards.

What they don't mention is that this could be good news for you.

From Boston.com: