We can't take it. At last count, there are currently 94 television shows about weddings on air. They're everywhere. It's Law and Order and CSI on steroids. Wedding Day, Bridezillas, Rock the Reception, Say Yes to the Dress, Masters of the Reception... there's even a website called Bridestelevision.com. That's right. An entire frickin' website devoted to shows about weddings.
We thought about writing our own mock-reviews of these "shows," but frankly, we can't afford the army of writers that would require, and we sort of make it a policy to avoid watching them at all costs, lest we learn anything practical about weddings.
So, instead, we'll offer something constructive. Are you listening, Hollywood? This one's for you. If the rest of that schlock can get green-lit, here's a list of similar wedding shows that must begin filming immediately:
Bake and Cake
100 grooms get high as a kite, and then they're forced to each select a wedding cake. 100 brides--sober--also each select a wedding cake. Stoned grooms or sober brides? The first group to make their selection wins.
Toast and Roast
Weddings meets Punk'd. An undercover Plunge operative attends real weddings and gives a fake toast to a real crowd...but then roasts the bride and groom with jokes about her breast implants, ex girlfriends, and the groom's STDs.
Say No to the Ho
A spin-off from Say Yes to the Dress, this show follows the upbeat, comic misadventures of engaged men and women who find out their partner's been cheating on them.
Beauty and the Priest
A group of ex-Victoria Secret's models all want to get engaged...to a holy man of the cloth. They sin. He prays.
Gloomy Groom
One stunning bride gets her choice of 10 handsome, wealthy, eligible bachelors, with only one catch: they all live in a clinic for depression.
Annulment Island
Ten newlyweds. Ten single, eligible D-List celebrities, including Ralph Macchio and special guest Mark Hammil...and 1 Judge granting 1 Annulment.
Blind Love
Bridezilla meets Helen Keller. Of course, wedding tv shows are jus tone sub-genre of wedding porn. Get the full lowdown on wedding porn--and how it's brainwashing your fiancée--here.
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