It's true in this recession. It's true in boom times. It's been true for decades.
At the heart of wedding planning is a sweet, romantic old saying: "Money talks, bullshit walks." Those who are paying--whether it's her parents, your parents, or even you and your fiancée--will inevitably feel a sense of entitlement, and those who aren't paying could feel insecure, overlooked, or marginalized. Welcome to your new life. This is the awfulness you've dreaded--power struggles, jealousies, and holy wars over guest lists.
Stock up on your favorite hard liquor. Drink deep. When you sober up, you'll probably need to tackle one (or more) of these five uncomfortable money issues.
Do you have a weird, awkward money issue that's not included? E-mail Drowning@ThePlunge.com.
Uncomfortable Issue 1: Your parents are paying for the wedding...and hers aren't.
Imagine if an old lady holds the door open for you. Or a homeless man buys you a cup of coffee. Emasculating, right? You feel powerless and even insulted. If your parents are paying for the wedding, this is exactly how her father will feel. Obvious but critical: if your fiancée's parents are uncomfortable, then your fiancée is uncomfortable. And if your fiancée is uncomfortable, then your life is unbearable.
Be extra sensitive. Involve all parties. Even if she isn't paying a nickel, include your new mother-in-law in the planning process. Solicit her input. Ask her advice. And from the very get-go, tell your parents that she needs to be involved. If they're not cool with this--if they demand "final say" and refuse any input from the bride's mom--think long and hard before making this Faustian deal.
Uncomfortable Issue 2: Your parents aren't paying...but they keep adding to the guest list.
Read the full article here and check out other uncomfortable, awkward issues in The Plunge's Complications section.
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