We're big believers in one central idea: "If you have a problem, let others try and solve it." So we introduced The Plunge Forums, trusting the wisdom of crowds, the power of shared knowledge, and the efficiency of the open market. After all, if the last couple of years have shown us anything, it's that an unregulated, open market can never go wrong.
But then we launched the site...and guys seemed completely uninterested in using the forums. And you know what? We couldn't blame them.
I mean...how do you tell your buddy with a straight face, "Hey man. Toss me a beer? Thanks. Sorry I'm late. I was busy online, posting a comment in my wedding forums."
Jesus. I feel dirty just typing the words "wedding forums." Damnit. Okay that's the last time those two words will ever, ever be used on this site. Promise. [Taking a cold shower.]
Anyway. We couldn't blame guys for being skeptical. And then as more and more guys heard about the site, and realized that there's actually a non-girly publication for them...people started to post.
But we won't lie, the forums are still the site's bastard stepchild, as a lot of guys don't even realize they exist. So, from time to time, we'll be posting some of the more interesting comments and threads from the boards. (You can register here to join in. Obviously there's no charge, and hell, we don't even need to know your last name.)
We'll kick things off with this proposal story from MikeRock:
Find the whole proposal thread here. Another guy is doing the bulk of wedding planning himself. (There's a good reason for it, you'll see.) Here's his strategy:It's been a long, crazy day
So, my day starts at 2:30AM, with me sitting at my laptop in the dark, how fitting that it should end as such.
So at 2:30 I was up, installing updates on several servers, and rebooting every time they wanted. That took me until the point that I wanted to update some tax software. THAT took me to the point where I had to run the kid to school. So when I finally arrived at work, I already had 5 hours of work under my belt. Got everything under control, and then thought I lost the engagement ring (it was on the floor under my desk). Found the ring in short order, but once I decided I was going to leave work at 4 (with only 11 hours of work for the day, I know, I'm a slacker), I decided today was the day to pop the question.
Fast forward to 4PM, I call Connie's parents and tell them I need to have a chat, color me old fashioned.
I accidentally broke one of the legs off of the little "proposal earring" lady, so I stopped at Walgreens for a spot of Super Glue to fix the leg. Spent a couple of bucks on the glue (it was on sale) and a card, all the while talking to Connie on the phone, and realizing I would NOT be able to get to her folks place and out before she got home.
Suddenly, a woman runs out of Walgreens (I'm on the phone, in the lot, just pondering my options) screaming about a woman who has her purse. The purse snatcher passes my car, so I decide, why not follow her. She runs into the street, where a mini-van is waiting, doors open.
If I can't tail a damn mini-van, I need to hand in my amateur crime-fighter card*. At the point that the van takes off, I tell Connie (who is on the phone, and confused as hell) "GPV 147, I have to call the cops".
I tailed the van while telling the police our whereabouts, she knew I was on her tail, and she blew lights, jumped on the freeway and back off at Hampton, all the while being tailed by a Nissan Sentra with a ninja at the wheel. I was on the phone with the police, them relaying my exact position to the officers in the field (that's what we law-enforcement types call it) when I suddenly heard, then saw at least a dozen units converge on that intersection. She was trapped, so she jumped the curb, cut across the grass, and the cops took chase. At this point I was instructed to stand down (more cop lingo) and I informed the officer I would park at the Pic N Save on Silver Spring and wait to provide my statement (and wait for my heart rate to return to normal)
So I detail all this information to the officer, and at one point I told him "Dammit, I was on my way to propose" He asked to see the ring, he approved.
So, the whole thing is busted, and then I think "WHEN? WHEN AM I GOING TO HAVE A BETTER STORY?" I get my wits, glue the leg, and head to Silver Spring and Port Washington. Connie knew that I had a surprise, but it's busted. I call her and say "okay, are you hungry? It doesn't have to be the end of the world, what are you hungry for?" (Knowing your lady love has its advantages, she picks Taco Bell. I have collected a stash of "Will you marry me?" hot sauce packets, just a whimsical addition.
She asks for the Volcano Box meal (This was more than I could have hoped for). I add the hot sauces, the earrings and the card to her meal box. She opens the meal, sees the card, in which I wrote "Soon... Although this would have made a great story". Then she sees the earrings, still no idea, she pulls the hot sauce out of the box, sets it aside (without reading), and I finally say "You're missing your required reading". She finally reads the packets, and a glimmer flashes across her eyes as I reach into my pocket. She said yes. I'm engaged. 21 hours from where the story started. Goodnight
*I don't actually have one, but I'm thinking of printing one after today.
Followup #1 - The purse was returned, and the victim was the mother-in-law to-be of a friends classmate in catechism.
Followup #2 - The purse snatcher was actually a dude, in drag.
...My Fiancee is Japanese and lives in Tokyo, we are having 2 ceremonies one here for my family and friends, and one in Japan for her family and friends. The one here will be the official one, and the first one.
Because of this, I am planning the one here, it's next to impossible for her to do. Her english skills are beginner-intermediate at best, so she would have a difficult time with 90% of things, so I have taken the baton and started to run with it.
I am lucky for a few reasons. I have a lot of female friends and family members who are all going to bat for me to help me out. I personally have settled on a hawaiian beach theme wedding. Waikiki is where we got engaged, so I wanted to somehow link that into the wedding. I have found there are tons of great places online to buy inexpensive, yet nice looking party theme items, and with an army of gungho women supporting me, I have found them all. Basically if she wants you to do all the planning, you need a support group, just like she would have if she were planning it. You can't do it alone, you'll go insane doing so.
This is how I am going about planning, and make sure that if you are planning that you include you're fiancee. Get her input, but don't give her too many choices, as that will make it more difficult for to plan it efficiently.
1) Figure out the guest list, get a total of how many people you expect to be there. This one thing should be the biggest factor in EVERY other decision you make. If you're only going to have 50 guests you don't need to rent a place that holds 200. This is the input exception, she should have equal say in who's coming.
2) Location, location location, as the realtors say! While you are figuring out who to invite, start looking at places that are within your budget. It doesn't have to be the fanciest place on the planet to be nice. I am renting one of the many "polish american citiczen's clubs" in the country. The building is only 3-4 years old, has a huge reception hall that can support up to 250 guests, and if you rent it on sunday costs you $200 for the day(6hr block), including the fee for the bartenders. Oh did I mention the Gazebo the one where our ceremony will be held (rain willing). The one that during the autumn is decorated in beautiful shades of orange red and yellow. Did I mention this was $200? Basically, you don't have to spend a fortune, you just have to look hard.
3) Caters. They all suck, basically every caterer I spoke too had great meal prices during the week, and those prices doubled during the weekend (because of weddings). You pretty much have to suck it up, and find the one with the best food at the best price. The biggest key to saving money here is don't hire a caterer from withing 20 miles of a big city. In Boston, you're talking $40 a plate. 60min west of Boston you're talking 1/2 that price.
4) Invitations. http://www.seal-n-send.com/ No muss, no fuss, cost effective, and nice enough for something everyone is going to throw away.
5) Officiants. Visit theknot.com (no really) they have lists of officiants in every state, with contact information. Read their reviews, pick one, or two or three, get together with your fiancee and meet with them, and then pick one.
6) I'll let you know when I get there, but 1-5 should be a great way for you to start.
Good luck....
Oh, and my budget is $6k
Plenty more like this at The Plunge Forums.
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