The Plunge Blog

There's an old legend about the ancient Greeks. When an athlete triumphed in a sporting event, to congratulate him, the fans would hoist him on their shoulders and yell, "Die Now! Die Now!"

The athlete was at his peak. The apex of his life. "Die Now" meant that he would never, ever be as happy as he was this moment; so to avoid the inevitable letdown, he should just go ahead and kill himself.

As perhaps you've noticed, this tradition has fallen out of favor. At weddings, when we shower the bride and groom with rice, we (usually) don't scream out "Die Now! Die Now!"

No, we at The Plunge do not endorse newlywed euthanasia. And to clarify, we do not think that the wedding will be the apex of your life. You will have other triumphs. You will grow even happier and happier with your wife. Your children will bring you bankruptcy joy.

Still... the Greeks had their finger on something. After the wedding, some guys will feel a letdown, a funk, a hard-to-pinpoint sense of gloom. You can't articulate it. You can't talk about it with your buddies, and you probably can't talk about it with your wife.

Sometimes it helps just to isolate and clarify your stress. Chances are, it stems from one of these 10 funk factors.

Also, in deference to your state of mind, we'll be a little less snarky than usual. We'll be delicate. (Because you're acting like a pansy.)

Funk Factor 1: You're no longer the star.

Truth time. Yes, we've both sworn an aversion to wedding planning. We mock it, you avoid it. Shhhhh... We promise we won't tell anyone...but we know that you secretly enjoyed it. Or at least parts of it. You were the leading man in a lavish play that had a cast of 200. You were doted on, flattered, honored with gifts. And now? The gig's up, the costumes are boxed in the closet, the audience has moved on to the next wedding.

Solution: Good news. This effect is temporary. Life will soon return to normal, and with it, your perspective and humor.

Funk Factor 2: You have idle hands.

For better or worse, the wedding sucked up a lot of time. And now you suddenly have your evenings free. Yes, you mocked it and yes, you were annoyed by much of it, but even on the bad days it was what you did. Without all the stress of planning-or putting up with your fiancée's planning-you could find yourself bored. And boredom leads to depression.

Solution: Take up a new hobby with your wife. Tennis lessons, wine tasting, key parties, whatever. You had a life before. You'll have a life again.

For the additional funk factors and solutions, see the full article Happily Ever After(?): Dealing with Post-Wedding Stress.