The Plunge Blog

Reader Dunndolo4life asks in The Forums:

"Long time no speak plunge.

"I have an idea for our wedding that everyone seems to think is the most ridiculous idea ever. (Sucking in air) Here goes......

"Now from my understanding, a wedding is a celebration of two people coming together in holy matrimony, or in simpler terms, two people who love each having a ceremony to celebrate their commitment or something along them lines am I right????

"I also know that the wedding is catered more towards the bride and that is fine. Now most weddings I know of when the wedding starts the groom is waiting patiently at the altar for the bride....(and everybody before that.)

"However, in my case I want to be a groom that walks down the aisle with the wedding party. Now my reason for this is because I already know that the wedding is more towards the female, but I feel that just standing up there makes me look like the smallest character in this wedding scenario other that saying I do and kissing the bride.

"Heck the bridesmaids and groomsmen get more attention. I feel more like a spectator than an actual participant. Now don't get me wrong. I do not want the attention all on me, I still want the bride to have her moment of shine... I just want to do something that will have me remembered for more than waiting for the bride with a smile.

"My solution to this.....start the wedding with me walking down the aisle with the most important women in my life (except my bride to be) my mother.

"Then of course, afterwards, everybody would follow leading to the big finale when the bride comes and we get hitched. Now this does not sound crazy does it?"

_______

You, sir, ARE AN IDIOT!!! Nah, just kidding. We know you're a little sensitive about the issue, so we wanted to be delicate.  (Really. We're kidding. It's not a bad idea. You can remove your fist from the monitor now.)

Okay, our real thoughts.  We like to give concrete answers. No-BS advice. We like to give you a clear directive, as opposed to a slippery "On the one hand" and "On the other hand."

We also like to make exceptions.

On the one hand:

Sure, perhaps your idea is a little unconventional, but only the stodgy traditionalists will really give a shit. Most people will say, Ahhhhhhwwww... he's with his mother! That's what makes this wacky idea acceptable. If you just walked down the aisle by yourself, it would smack of arrogance. But walking with Mom? Suddenly you're a big teddy bear.

If this means a lot to you, and if--this is big--IF the bride is truly onboard, then screw it, go for it.

On the other hand:

In the traditional scenario, you have more spotlight than you think. When you're standing at the altar with a goofy grin on your face, it's a long, loooooooong time on the pedestal. In reality it's seconds but it will feel like hours. Until the procession starts, all eyes are on you. You'll feel it.

To clarify: we are not suggesting that you abandon your idea. But it's worth reevaluating your perspective that you are the "smallest character" in the wedding. When you're standing by the altar, you'll feel like you're exposed to the world.  And you are.

The final analysis: Don't listen to the pinheads who are mortified by change, go with your gut, but, above all else, be respectful to your bride's wishes. If you embarrass her, you fail.

Good luck.