The Plunge Blog

You have questions.

We have answers. Today in a value-sized, 3-for-1 special, we cover unconventional honeymoon destinations (Washington DC: yay or nay?), the virtues of linen, and how to get an engagement ring when you're broke.

A reader writes:

I planned an unconventional honeymoon. Rather than going to the Bahamas, Jamaica, or Florida we decided on Washington, D.C. We are getting flack from everyone we know on this choice. She is a museum nerd, and I am a political nerd -- so it seems like a perfect fit. We are both excited, but I'm second-guessing myself and thinking that I'm missing something. We feel like sitting on a beach for two weeks will be boring as shit.

Our response:

We're sure your friends are all lovely, warm, good-hearted people. That said, screw ‘em. This is your honeymoon. This is your choice. Unless they're joining you on this vacation, and we mean this in the most pleasant way, they can go to hell. Who has a better sense of what will make you and your fiancée happy: your friends or you and your fiancée?  Don't bow to peer pressure or convention. We're always happy when people buck the norm and do something they actually, well, enjoy. Heaven forbid.

That said, a couple of thoughts on DC. Assuming your fiancée's just as enthusiastic as yourself, don't second-guess it. Stick with your gut. BUT. Remember this: an important component of your honeymoon is the alone-time, the quiet-time, the holy-shit-are-we-really-married time. That can absolutely happen in a large city. It can. But unlike the beach, DC doesn't have a ready made, built-in romantic ambiance, so you'll need to show some initiative to create your own romantic and honeymoon-ish touches.  (i.e. surprise spa treatments, romantic picnics, maybe a limo ride through the capital, that kinda crap.)

Hope that helps. Congratulations and let us know how it goes. (And you can find more on planning the honeymoon here.)

From another:

I'm getting married on Oahu, HI next year and I'm wondering if you have any wardrobe advice...  I'm a huge fan of Linen, and not a huge fan of anything formal (of course).

You've already done a lot right. You're getting married in Oahu, so something tells us that, regardless of what you're wearing, you'll have as much fun as you're legally allowed to have at weddings. That said, you don't want to look dumb.  Our thoughts on linen: we like it. A lot. It's perfect for a Hawaii wedding and it lets you do casual with class.

With linen, you can go one of three ways: 1) all white linen--white long-sleeve shirt, white pants, sandals, and white t-shirt if you're a heavy sweater or hairy.  (No shame in that-I'm both.) Plus, you get to subtly thumb your nose at purists who think that only the bride should be in white. Option 2 is the polar opposite: bold and colorful. Yep you can pull this off. Just go with a ripe, tropical solid--color long-sleeve shirts and neutral pants. And Option 3 is the most formal: black shirt with either white or neutral pants. (Don't go black shirt and black pants--you'll look oddly out of place on the beach.)

Congrats again on the wedding, and if you need help, ah, "filling out the guest list," let us know and we'll take one for the team and fill some seats. We're martyrs like that. 

(Our general rules on formalwear--which apply to less beachy locations--here.)

Where can I buy a ring for my fiancee if I dont have alot of money?

The first thing to do is not panic. Seriously. Not to sound like a bad romantic comedy, but it's important to remind yourself--this girl loves you for, well, we don't know you, but presumably for your personality and all that stuff. Don't sweat not having some Tiffany's-commercial-ring.

But that's not very helpful, is it?  Okay so here's what to do. The first question is this: would she be happy with a ring that's not a diamond? If so, a gemstone has a lot more bang for the buck-find out her birthstone or favorite color and run with that. If it has to be a diamond, consider a 3-stone ring instead of one large diamond. For either one of these options, as far as "where to buy," we recommend a two-tiered strategy of both online and retail.  You can go online to scour the web for specific configurations and prices, and then go retail to see those very same rings/sizes/settings in person. For more on how to play the retail/online game, check out our article here.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.   (Seriously - let us know. We actually read all these responses and like to hear how these things turn out.)

Have a question of your own? Ask here.