We'll assume that the woman you're actually marrying is intelligent, loves you, and can think for herself. (If any of these three assumptions are invalid, you have bigger issues...)

Question from Plunge Reader: (name changed to protect the quasi-innocent)

My fiancée's maid of honor is a bit "loose"; I'm intimidated about how crazy she'll make the bachelorette party. It honestly bothers me, and I know that I'm probably making this into something it won't be. How should I handle this? What should I do?

-Insecure in Indiana.

Dear Insecure,

We'll give you the benefit of the doubt; we'll assume that the woman you're actually marrying is intelligent, loves you, and can think for herself. (If any of these three assumptions are invalid, you have bigger issues than the bachelorette party.)

The problem isn't the "loose" maid of honor. It's your lack of trust. Let's think about this. What are you worried, exactly, that Loose Maid is going to do? Force-feed her shots of tequila? Drug her? Kidnap her and drag her to some weird adult convention?

Whatever your nightmare scenarios are, they're probably just that, nightmares. Trust your woman. Remember, in the next 70 years of your marriage, you won't be joined at the hip. You will have occasional nights and weekends apart. This is a good thing. Space is a good thing. And your fiancée will still be friends with Loose Maid; she's not going anywhere. So you need to learn to deal with your trust issues, and you need to deal with them now.

Follow this 5-step process:

M.A.N.--U.P.

Monitor nothing. Don't be one of those dweebs who asks a mutual friend to "check up on her," which is essentially spying, which essentially betrays her trust, which essentially poisons your marriage before it even starts.

Address "the line." We'll give you this much: it's normal to be skittish if you've never discussed what counts as crossing the line. It's generally accepted that at a bachelor party, lapdances are okay but actual-hooking-up (i.e. making out) is not. Refer to our Bachelor Party: how far is too far guide and simply reverse the genders. If you really think that you and your fiancée are not on the same page as far as what counts as "too far," address the issue squarely and trust her to respect your wishes.

Never be Clingy Guy. Or Smothering Guy. Think back a few years. Remember how when you were dating some girl, it was just the best when she called every 10 minutes to check up on you, cyber-stalked you, and spammed you text message like a stream of digital vomit? No one likes Clingy Girl. And no one likes Clingy Guy. Not in casual dating, not in engagement, and not in marriage. For the sake of both you and your fiancée, give her some space and let her have a good time.

Upstage. This isn't technically required, but frankly, it's sort of lame if your fiancée's bachelorette party is cooler than yours. If her party features bourbon and strippers, yours shouldn't feature a nice quiet viewing of Rudy.

Put yourself in her shoes. Let's say your best friend is a Stiffler-esque drunken horndog. At your bachelor party, he has a 100% chance of getting wasted, 37% chance of starting a fight, 18% chance of getting locked in jail, and 4.6% chance of getting his leg broken by a pimp. You, however, will not have your leg broken by a pimp. The faults of Stiffler are not the faults of you. Same goes for your fiancée and Loose Maid. Be secure in yourself, be secure in your woman, be secure in her fidelity.

One last thing. On the night of her bachelorette party itself, do something fun with your buddies. Go out with them. Have a few beers. Don't sit at home, sulking, staring at your phone and hoping she checks in. (By the way: she shouldn't. If she doesn't call you that night, it doesn't mean she's under the drunken spell of Loose Maid; it means she's abiding by the rules of bachelor/bachelorette parties.)

Good luck. You'll get through it, and your relationship will be stronger for it.

One last-last thing. Is Loose Maid cute? Not everyone at The Plunge is married. Feel free to forward us her contact info. Hit us at Lifeline@ThePlunge.com.

Agree with the advice? Disagree? Been in a similar situation and want to share? Sound off in the Comments section below.